Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Is it realy the last day of May?
Because it sure as the world feels like mid DECEMBER about now. I cannot believe it is the last day of May. I remember May so fondly from my youth as being a happy month. A month of firsts; first flowers, first new outfits of summer, first trips to the POOL, first days of SUMMER Vacation, hours and hours spent outdoors...Shoot me, just shoot me now! It's almost JUNE and we are still in the very low 50s here in Germany. It got down into the 30s in the night - Uuuuuugh! Have I ever mentioned that I absolutely cannot stand to be cold??? I think maybe once or twice - I guess if I LOVED the cold it would be sweltering hot right now. Has anyone ever died from extremely long winters??? I don't know but I am dragging through life and can't seem to find the energy to make it anymore. And now my feeble body has decided that now is the time to give in to the nasty cold and flu season that I somehow managed to escape without so much as a sniffle. So I am off to bed to muddled dreams in my mink blankets while visions of sunbeams dance through my head. Enjoy summer and please drop me a line sometime to let me know what a sunbeam feels like - I have now completely forgotten. Now I can understand where dark poetry comes from - the poets must have lived in Germany.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Ugh! Not now...
I've been able to duck it all winter - the dreaded flu season but with the wacky weather we've been having my body just couldn't take it anymore. Sore throat, body aches - It's almost JUNE and I'm catching my first cold all winter. I'm so not a happy camper...I would rather be camping but of course that would be rather difficult in the wind and rain. I guess I will cuddle up to a nice hot cup of chicken soup instead...and read about the sunny adventures from blogland.
Monday, May 29, 2006
Let's play name that song...
Hi there blog world! I am looking for songs for our adoption video. I will add the ones I have so far and if you have anything you would like to add please add it on the comments section. Anything that applies to babies, adoption, our journey to China etc. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!
Winger - I need you now
Foreigner - I've been waiting for a girl like you
Vanessa Williams & Luther Vandross - Somewhere out there
Savage Garden - I knew I loved you
Phil Collins - You'll be in my heart
Martina McBride - In my daughter's eyes
Martina McBride - I have been blessed
Lee Anne Womack - I hope you dance
Lee Greenwood - I owe you
The Beatles - Here comes the sun
Rodd Stewart - Forever Young
Creed - Arms wide open
Anne Murray - I want to sing you a love song
Keith Whitley - When you say nothing at all
Allison Krause - Baby of Mine
Alladin - Whole new world
Bryan Adams - Here I am
Steven Curtis Chapman - When Love takes you in
Elton John - You'll be blessed
Celine Dion - Because you loved me
David Bowie - China Girl
Whitesnake - Is this love
*Fernando Ortega - If you were mine (beautiful song)
Winger - I need you now
Foreigner - I've been waiting for a girl like you
Vanessa Williams & Luther Vandross - Somewhere out there
Savage Garden - I knew I loved you
Phil Collins - You'll be in my heart
Martina McBride - In my daughter's eyes
Martina McBride - I have been blessed
Lee Anne Womack - I hope you dance
Lee Greenwood - I owe you
The Beatles - Here comes the sun
Rodd Stewart - Forever Young
Creed - Arms wide open
Anne Murray - I want to sing you a love song
Keith Whitley - When you say nothing at all
Allison Krause - Baby of Mine
Alladin - Whole new world
Bryan Adams - Here I am
Steven Curtis Chapman - When Love takes you in
Elton John - You'll be blessed
Celine Dion - Because you loved me
David Bowie - China Girl
Whitesnake - Is this love
*Fernando Ortega - If you were mine (beautiful song)
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Sometimes I am just blown away
Like this moment; I was about to post a story I wrote the other day and I opened my daily devotional book to get some "guideance" and this was where it opened.
"I have written your name on my hand. Isaiah 49:16"
Ok, this is so amazing because for the past few months the name "Sea-ah-na" has been rolling around in my head and I can't seem to figure it out. We have chosen the name Jaiden Riley Katheleen for our daughter from China; we are also hoping and praying for her twin sister and the name Chloe has been tossed around but hasn't really stuck yet. Well the name Ceana meaning God is gracious is written (amongst dozens others)in my journal from way back at the beginning of our journey to adopt when I was just writing names at random. Since the name just won't get out of my head I went online to try to do more research on it and this time I couldn't find it. I do not know where I found the original spelling or the meaning??? I did a random internet site and came up with some interesting abbreviations for things. I tried spelling it Cianna...same thing. Then I tried Cyanna and this is what I found: http://www.childrenshopeint.org/newsletter/april02/journey.htm
I was touched beyond words when I read this story. It is so amazing how ever since I had the dream which twins were conceived in my heart, I have been given so many leads towards storys of twins. I still don't quite comprehend the plan God has in store for us. This is so far above our realm of insight. What does this mean? Why am I always being led to twins? We have applied for twins and are hoping and praying we get a referral for twins but is there something more? Will our story be something truly amazing such as this one??? I've wondered so many times over these months just what I would feel after all this time of loving my girls and praying for them and then being matched with only one. After reading this story I am more confident than ever that God's plan is going to bring us together no matter what. I never doubted that He could - but I don't know why He would do such an amazing thing such as this for us. It's hard to grasp the realization that He loves us that deeply and would literally move heaven and earth to bring our children home to where they belong. Wow, my babies have a name! And it's written on the palm of God's hands. How awesome is that!
"I have written your name on my hand. Isaiah 49:16"
Ok, this is so amazing because for the past few months the name "Sea-ah-na" has been rolling around in my head and I can't seem to figure it out. We have chosen the name Jaiden Riley Katheleen for our daughter from China; we are also hoping and praying for her twin sister and the name Chloe has been tossed around but hasn't really stuck yet. Well the name Ceana meaning God is gracious is written (amongst dozens others)in my journal from way back at the beginning of our journey to adopt when I was just writing names at random. Since the name just won't get out of my head I went online to try to do more research on it and this time I couldn't find it. I do not know where I found the original spelling or the meaning??? I did a random internet site and came up with some interesting abbreviations for things. I tried spelling it Cianna...same thing. Then I tried Cyanna and this is what I found: http://www.childrenshopeint.org/newsletter/april02/journey.htm
I was touched beyond words when I read this story. It is so amazing how ever since I had the dream which twins were conceived in my heart, I have been given so many leads towards storys of twins. I still don't quite comprehend the plan God has in store for us. This is so far above our realm of insight. What does this mean? Why am I always being led to twins? We have applied for twins and are hoping and praying we get a referral for twins but is there something more? Will our story be something truly amazing such as this one??? I've wondered so many times over these months just what I would feel after all this time of loving my girls and praying for them and then being matched with only one. After reading this story I am more confident than ever that God's plan is going to bring us together no matter what. I never doubted that He could - but I don't know why He would do such an amazing thing such as this for us. It's hard to grasp the realization that He loves us that deeply and would literally move heaven and earth to bring our children home to where they belong. Wow, my babies have a name! And it's written on the palm of God's hands. How awesome is that!
Let them eat cake
Two weeks of non stop rain couln't stop us from planning the party of the millenium - Scott's Promotion to Master Sergeant!!! The days leading up promised to be wet and dreary but Saturday morning, there was no rain! Thank You Lord!!! We hurried to get the tent set up - the sun almost made an appearance, we went for ice...and the cake...still clear. We got everything set up and in place, cars strategically arranged so that there would be maximum parking available...guest arrived...guest had fun...guest ate and made merry...it started getting dark...then the rain moved in. But it wasn't a torential downpour - just a drizzle. No one needed umbrellas :) It was a great party and we are so proud of Scott for making it! We had lots of peeps come by and a great time was had by all.
The cake deserves a special commentary of its own. I had it done by a very nice and much talented military spouse, she helped me find the perfect design (she has hundreds of cake pans) It was a castle cake with 6 towers,strawberry on one side, lemon on the other and chocolate as the main body. The moat door was made to look like Master Sergeant stripes and there were A-10s and F-16s flying all around. It was the biggest cake we'd ever seen - took two people to carry it in. But it's the first cake I've ever had made just for Scott - his birthday falls just two days after Cody's we are usually all caked out by the time his day comes so I wanted to make it up to him for all the years he didn't have cake.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Golly Geeesers!
This is the sound of me trying to OPEN a toy or a DVD. Why do they have to be HARD WIRED into their packaging? It is so hard to open a simple toy anymore. Forget putting the toy together; if you haven't broken it by the time you cut away the plastic binding and unwrap all the coils of wire and then unscrew the BOLTS holding it in place - you are about ready to send it flying across the room or smash it to bits. In addition to not forgeting the batteries - today's toys also require pliers, screwdrivers and scissors to remove them from their packaging. It's enough to make me want to give up buying new and start shopping the local thrift shop for gifts. Gently used probably means the toy lost its interest long before the packaging was ever removed so it hasn't even been touched - only someone has endured the painstaking process of opening it for me...and I really LIKE that idea. More time to play and less hassle. Amazon.com is my favorite store for like new items :) I have gotten many used DVDs that are perfectly fine - just don't have that stinking sticky tape around every blooming edge! How come they put that stuff on there anyway? It's in a plastic wrapper! How can anyone open the case??? That's called theft if they get past the wrapper isn't it? So frustrating. And they wonder why we don't want to pay 19.99 for a DVD. For that price they should open it for us.
What pet is for you?
***Kim's Ideal Pet is a Cat***
You're both aloof, introverted, and moody.
And your friends secretly wish that you were declawed!
What's Your Ideal Pet?
You're both aloof, introverted, and moody.
And your friends secretly wish that you were declawed!
What's Your Ideal Pet?
Unexpected Blessings
Today is a German Holiday...we were not aware of this until we got to Jared's school and the doors were locked...uh oh! What now? I have pile of work to catch up on today in order to take tommorrow (Family Day) off and prepare for the big weekend. I will be in a computer class for the next two weeks and doing Reserve time for two weeks after that...I really needed to go to work today. We get to work (Jared and I) and I keep him entertained with stamping and writing his name for a total of about 5 minutes...and he's begging me to go get his lunchbox from the car cause he's starving...then in walks WASP (one of our pilots) and says he is about to give a tour of the jet to a buch of 5 year olds from the CDC - why don't we join him? That is too cool! Jared has never seen the F-16 up close and personal before. So off we go for an awesome tour of the jet and a nice visit with Jared's old classmates - and they all still remembered him! They were wondering where he's been...? So I talk to the teacher and she tells me there is a drop in slot available if he'd like to come play with them... but I took him in and they no longer had his file on record - in order for him to stay he would have to have his shot record RATS! So I go get him out of the class where he's already made himself comfy in the circle time with his friends. I go back to work and ask for today off instead of tommorrow and my boss says "he's welcome to stay here" and I say "oh no, I won't get much work done - I'll just come back tommorrow instead" so here we are home sweet home after an adventurous morning. It's going to be a rainy, rainy week and weekend - and yes, it's still cold but there are blessings everywhere and I am very thankful for each and every one.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
One more month down...one tiny step closer
Well, the CCAA posted their stats yesterday. It was not as good as hoped so it doesn't look like we will be next after all. They did match 9 days which is an improvement over the 7 last month and the 5 the month before that...we are still 20 days away from getting our chance. That may not seem far off to many but at the rate this has been going it seems like an eternity. Maybe end of July but I am so tired of hoping. Every month we hope for this month to have gotten us much closer so we could be NEXT but each month comes and goes and we are slowly creeping up on our date. The CCAA has already said it may take over a year now. Had we known that from the beginning I think it would have been easier. Expecting 6 months, hoping for that and then having our hopes crushed then and every month thereafter is really really tough.
Yesterday was the toughest day I've had thus far. Thanks to the blessing of wonderful friends I was surrounded by comforting words and prayer. It still hurts and I can't help but cry over this but I know we will get through somehow. Our turn will come someday, we just don't know when someday may be. Someday I may be able to agree that this has all been worth it for the blessing we are to receive but today just hurts. There is nothing to take away this pain. All you can do is survive it and grow stonger. Sometimes you just want to give in and give up but your heart won't let you let go. There is a little girl out there somewhere waiting for her Mommy to come get her and bring her home to her family. And her Mommy aches to bring her home.
Yesterday was the toughest day I've had thus far. Thanks to the blessing of wonderful friends I was surrounded by comforting words and prayer. It still hurts and I can't help but cry over this but I know we will get through somehow. Our turn will come someday, we just don't know when someday may be. Someday I may be able to agree that this has all been worth it for the blessing we are to receive but today just hurts. There is nothing to take away this pain. All you can do is survive it and grow stonger. Sometimes you just want to give in and give up but your heart won't let you let go. There is a little girl out there somewhere waiting for her Mommy to come get her and bring her home to her family. And her Mommy aches to bring her home.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Half a World Away
This is a beautiful poem that a good friend shared with me recently
Half a World Away
A half a world away
Sometimes it seems we're so far apart
But a half a world away
It's not too far of a a journey for my heart
My little one, my bundle of joy
I'm waiting for you
My precious daughter, my baby girl
I know you're waiting too
A half a world away
A child waits for a family of her own
While a half world away
A family waits to bring her home
My little one, my bundle of joy
I'm whispering a prayer
My precious daughter, my baby girl
I hope to soon be there
I hope that we
will no longer be
a hald a world away.
Half a World Away
A half a world away
Sometimes it seems we're so far apart
But a half a world away
It's not too far of a a journey for my heart
My little one, my bundle of joy
I'm waiting for you
My precious daughter, my baby girl
I know you're waiting too
A half a world away
A child waits for a family of her own
While a half world away
A family waits to bring her home
My little one, my bundle of joy
I'm whispering a prayer
My precious daughter, my baby girl
I hope to soon be there
I hope that we
will no longer be
a hald a world away.
New sofas
We received our new sofa set today!!! It is cherry pop (not sure the exact shade of red) but it looks similar to cherry kool aid...guess that is good for when the kids spill some on it. It is ultra suede (so soft) and they are pretty comfy...not Natuzzi heavenly soft but hey, the set was half the price of one Natuzzi chair. We've been waiting 2.5 months for them to be manufactured so I'm hoping they will grow on me. The reason I am not blown away with them is because we found a sofa set (just yesterday) that is ultra soft micro suede and it hugs you when you sit down...instead of being bounced off like a penny. That's how I test for the perfect sofa - do the plop test - if your teeth rattle the sofa is just too hard, if you sink in and can't get back up - that is the perfect sofa! This one is sorta in the middle I think.
We also received our new coffee table which I found and fell in love with yesterday. I guess when you just know - it's love at first sight. The driver delivered it right before the sofas arrived. I LOVE it! It is a gorgeous piece of furniture.
Any ideas on how to decorate this room? I would like to get a Tree of Life tapestry for the focal point...not sure about the rest.
You're never one to take life too seriously, and because of it, you're a ton of fun.
And although you have a great sense of humor, you are never superficial.
Deep and caring, you do like to get to the core of people - to understand them well.
However, any probing you do is light hearted and fun, sometimes causing people to misjudge you.
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Good Wishes Quilt
The Good Wishes Quilt is coming along nicely. I will post photos of the wishes and pieces here so you can follow along. Thank You so much to everyone that has contributed! Your kindness and love will be cherished forever.
Patchwork Quilt
Our family's like a patchwork quilt,
With kindness gently sewn.
Each piece is an original,
With beauty of its own.
With threads of warmth and happiness,
It's tightly stitched together.
To last in love throughout the years,
Our family is forever.
-Unknown
Friday, May 19, 2006
50 Questions
Favorite Vacation destination? I think it will be New Zealand :)
Favorite Movie? Your's Mine and Ours
Favorite Children's Book author or Grown Book author?
Children - Little Golden Books
Adult - Nora Roberts
Favorite Food Type: Chocolate
Favorite Pro and/or College Team? Texas Longhorns because of the cool logo and "HOOK'EM HORNS"
Favorite Band/Music Group: Point of Grace
Must Have's for your house to be ready for your new baby? A baby of course :)
Favorite TV show? Design on a Dime
Coffee or Tea? Coffee
Cleaning Tip? Hmmm - avoid it if you can :)
Pet Peeve? people who visit but don't comment...
What would you grab in case of a fire: photo albums
Most Influential Person In your life: my Mom
Talent I would like to have? Piano
Favorite Childhood Memory: sliding down sand dunes
Favorite Hobby: writing
Favorite Time of the Year: Summer
First thing you bought for new baby: a journal
19. If you were recuperating in a hospital who would you want in the bed next to you, excluding relatives? Lucille Ball
20. Favorite quote? "If you can't feed 100 feed one" Mother Theresa
21. Your best idea to commit a random act of kindness? Smile and wave at someone
22. If you had to sing a karaoke song, what would it be? Kamakamakama kamakamelion
23. Favorite candy?Chocolate
24. Name 5 experiences or places that you want to have/visit in yourlifetime.
-Going to my daughter's finding location and leaving a red rose for her Mom
-Meeting the sisters that I've met during the adoption journey
-Returning to China with my daughter and experiencing China through her eyes
-Living long enough to make a difference
- Living long enough to meet my grandchildren
25. What one thing (for you) are you bringing with you to China that you just can't live without?
My boys
26. What picture/photograph can you not wait to takeof your new child while in China, excluding the first'Gotcha" picture? Her sleeping on her Daddy's chest
27. What are the top three items you want to buy foryour new child while in China?
bracelet, earrings, a necklace
28. Will the adoption trip be your first trip toAsia? No If not, where are you been in Asia? Korea
29. How is your kitchen decorated? Country casual - sunflowers and herbs in the window
30. If married, how did you meet your mate? at work
31. The first place you would like to take your daughter to visit when you get off the plane? to her Gramma's house
32. Who makes you laugh? Jared
33. What is the scariest thing you have ever done? take my kids to the ER
34. If there was a movie of your life, who would have play you? Michelle Pfifer
35. Do you plan to do some sightseeing when you go to China? Parks, orphanage and finding spot, schools
36. What is your earlist childhood memory? getting panties in my stocking (3)
37. What is your favorite restaurant? What do order when you go there? Olive Garden. Chicken Fettucini, Salad and New York Cheesecake
38. What is your favorite dinner to cook? Frozen Pizza
39. Do you entertain a lot? No
40. When is the last time you had a professional manicure? Several years ago
41. What teacher was the greatest influence in your life? James Hayes 7th grade
42. What grade was your favorite and why? None - I didn't like school, the kids were very mean and I didn't have many friends
43. Who is your oldest most dear friend? Lulu Phillips (Thompson)
44. If you could speak to your child's (the on you are waiting for) mother and ask her three questions, what would they be? Where was she born, when was she born and what would you like her to remember about you?
45. What do you usually have to drink with dinner everynight? Water or milk
46. Are you planning to send a care package after referral? Yes
47. Name five things you will put in the package.
- A blankie, a camera, pictures, a toy and clothes.
48. How many groups are you part of? 2 (active)
49. What was your first car? 1989 Chevy Cavalier
50. Who are you traveling to China with? Group 117b and my family
51. What is your favorite card game? Go fish
52. How do you celebrate birthdays in your family? Cake, icecream, a special dinner, parties for the kids and presents
53. What is your favorite holiday?Thanksgiving
54. What was the happiest moment of your life? Becoming a Mom
55. What color is your living room? beige
56. When you have a sad day, what chears you up? Prayer
57. What was your most embarrassing moment? Peeing in my seat in pre-school when I was 4
58. Name something you want to do in this lifetime (not something most likely going to happen in the near future) Become a grammie and bake my grandkids cookies
Favorite Movie? Your's Mine and Ours
Favorite Children's Book author or Grown Book author?
Children - Little Golden Books
Adult - Nora Roberts
Favorite Food Type: Chocolate
Favorite Pro and/or College Team? Texas Longhorns because of the cool logo and "HOOK'EM HORNS"
Favorite Band/Music Group: Point of Grace
Must Have's for your house to be ready for your new baby? A baby of course :)
Favorite TV show? Design on a Dime
Coffee or Tea? Coffee
Cleaning Tip? Hmmm - avoid it if you can :)
Pet Peeve? people who visit but don't comment...
What would you grab in case of a fire: photo albums
Most Influential Person In your life: my Mom
Talent I would like to have? Piano
Favorite Childhood Memory: sliding down sand dunes
Favorite Hobby: writing
Favorite Time of the Year: Summer
First thing you bought for new baby: a journal
19. If you were recuperating in a hospital who would you want in the bed next to you, excluding relatives? Lucille Ball
20. Favorite quote? "If you can't feed 100 feed one" Mother Theresa
21. Your best idea to commit a random act of kindness? Smile and wave at someone
22. If you had to sing a karaoke song, what would it be? Kamakamakama kamakamelion
23. Favorite candy?Chocolate
24. Name 5 experiences or places that you want to have/visit in yourlifetime.
-Going to my daughter's finding location and leaving a red rose for her Mom
-Meeting the sisters that I've met during the adoption journey
-Returning to China with my daughter and experiencing China through her eyes
-Living long enough to make a difference
- Living long enough to meet my grandchildren
25. What one thing (for you) are you bringing with you to China that you just can't live without?
My boys
26. What picture/photograph can you not wait to takeof your new child while in China, excluding the first'Gotcha" picture? Her sleeping on her Daddy's chest
27. What are the top three items you want to buy foryour new child while in China?
bracelet, earrings, a necklace
28. Will the adoption trip be your first trip toAsia? No If not, where are you been in Asia? Korea
29. How is your kitchen decorated? Country casual - sunflowers and herbs in the window
30. If married, how did you meet your mate? at work
31. The first place you would like to take your daughter to visit when you get off the plane? to her Gramma's house
32. Who makes you laugh? Jared
33. What is the scariest thing you have ever done? take my kids to the ER
34. If there was a movie of your life, who would have play you? Michelle Pfifer
35. Do you plan to do some sightseeing when you go to China? Parks, orphanage and finding spot, schools
36. What is your earlist childhood memory? getting panties in my stocking (3)
37. What is your favorite restaurant? What do order when you go there? Olive Garden. Chicken Fettucini, Salad and New York Cheesecake
38. What is your favorite dinner to cook? Frozen Pizza
39. Do you entertain a lot? No
40. When is the last time you had a professional manicure? Several years ago
41. What teacher was the greatest influence in your life? James Hayes 7th grade
42. What grade was your favorite and why? None - I didn't like school, the kids were very mean and I didn't have many friends
43. Who is your oldest most dear friend? Lulu Phillips (Thompson)
44. If you could speak to your child's (the on you are waiting for) mother and ask her three questions, what would they be? Where was she born, when was she born and what would you like her to remember about you?
45. What do you usually have to drink with dinner everynight? Water or milk
46. Are you planning to send a care package after referral? Yes
47. Name five things you will put in the package.
- A blankie, a camera, pictures, a toy and clothes.
48. How many groups are you part of? 2 (active)
49. What was your first car? 1989 Chevy Cavalier
50. Who are you traveling to China with? Group 117b and my family
51. What is your favorite card game? Go fish
52. How do you celebrate birthdays in your family? Cake, icecream, a special dinner, parties for the kids and presents
53. What is your favorite holiday?Thanksgiving
54. What was the happiest moment of your life? Becoming a Mom
55. What color is your living room? beige
56. When you have a sad day, what chears you up? Prayer
57. What was your most embarrassing moment? Peeing in my seat in pre-school when I was 4
58. Name something you want to do in this lifetime (not something most likely going to happen in the near future) Become a grammie and bake my grandkids cookies
This is beautiful...
I share this. My Mom just shared it with me and it is a tear jerker. Please follow this link:http://parentswish.com
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Faith like Abraham...
This adoption thing is so much harder than physical labor could ever be. On a pain scale of 1 to 10 I would rate adoption 10+. And there are not any drugs to take the edge off, no breathing exercises that will help that pain to pass, if you scream at anyone you get the "your being a pain again look", and sometimes just being around other people that are living and breathing a normal life - and spitting out babies like a Pez dispenser - is more pain than anyone should have to bear. Sometimes it's just not fair. It's hard to understand why ADOPTION should be difficult - there are thousands of orphans that need a family to love them - aren't there???
We are nearing our 11th month of being LIDed. We've been on this fabulous adventure since Nov 04 - what's that? Hmmm...let me count.... 18 months? Wow, long enough for several groups of my friends and family to conceive and give birth TWICE!
No this was not meant for me to understand. I was not meant to be normal. This is meant to be something beyond my biggest dreams and my wildest imaginations. Sometimes I "lose it" and my patience goes all out the window. I meltdown and want to be done with this. I feel all alone on a different planet far from home and in a world where I just don't fit.
When I crash and hit the bottom I find my center again. Then I remember why we started this in the first place. There within my heart still burns a passion to bring a child home that has no home and give them the love they have never known, to give them a family and a place to belong where they will always know love. That amazing love always finds me, no matter how I fight it off - it's always there. I cannot escape the greatest love of all.
This week I was remembering Abraham - he waited a lifetime for his child Isaac and then placed him upon an alter without hesitation. He had a NO DOUBT kinda faith. He did not question. He believed. He knew that God would always provide the answer. I want to be like that. So sure and strong in my faith. Never doubting for a moment the miracle that is in store for us that is far beyond anything we could ever comprehend. That's something worth waiting for.
We are nearing our 11th month of being LIDed. We've been on this fabulous adventure since Nov 04 - what's that? Hmmm...let me count.... 18 months? Wow, long enough for several groups of my friends and family to conceive and give birth TWICE!
No this was not meant for me to understand. I was not meant to be normal. This is meant to be something beyond my biggest dreams and my wildest imaginations. Sometimes I "lose it" and my patience goes all out the window. I meltdown and want to be done with this. I feel all alone on a different planet far from home and in a world where I just don't fit.
When I crash and hit the bottom I find my center again. Then I remember why we started this in the first place. There within my heart still burns a passion to bring a child home that has no home and give them the love they have never known, to give them a family and a place to belong where they will always know love. That amazing love always finds me, no matter how I fight it off - it's always there. I cannot escape the greatest love of all.
This week I was remembering Abraham - he waited a lifetime for his child Isaac and then placed him upon an alter without hesitation. He had a NO DOUBT kinda faith. He did not question. He believed. He knew that God would always provide the answer. I want to be like that. So sure and strong in my faith. Never doubting for a moment the miracle that is in store for us that is far beyond anything we could ever comprehend. That's something worth waiting for.
Fruit of the earth
My first fruits of the garden have blossomed into...dinner! I picked some yummy baby spinich to go with dinner tonight. So good and fresh! Nummy! Nothing beats fresh out of the earth. The strawberries are starting to turn white so they will be getting ripe in a short while too. I LOVE my first garden so far. I think this could turn into a worthwhile hobby :)
Monday, May 15, 2006
Where is my baby?
Many months have come and gone - longing to see you - coming undone - the paper chase was easy, so smooth and so sure. But the wait has been torture, almost more than we can endure. Each day takes us farther - first it was only 6 months, then 10 months, now 12. We wonder does anyone know when for sure? When will we travel? Surely real soon - Mar, Apr and May are prepared to travel and bring home their bai bai.
How long have you waited? I'm yearning to know. Are you still just an infant? Will we watch you grow? Or are you a toddler just starting to walk? Do you reach for someone to cuddle you, if given the chance? Or are you quite older and have seen many friends, be placed in arms of strangers from far distant lands?
We are coming soon darling, please don't you cry - Your Mommy will cuddle you and sing lullabyes. We'll wrap you in blankets, so soft and so warm. And love you to pieces, with all of our hearts.
Love and hugs,
Mommy
(written by Kim Klein 5/15/05)
How long have you waited? I'm yearning to know. Are you still just an infant? Will we watch you grow? Or are you a toddler just starting to walk? Do you reach for someone to cuddle you, if given the chance? Or are you quite older and have seen many friends, be placed in arms of strangers from far distant lands?
We are coming soon darling, please don't you cry - Your Mommy will cuddle you and sing lullabyes. We'll wrap you in blankets, so soft and so warm. And love you to pieces, with all of our hearts.
Love and hugs,
Mommy
(written by Kim Klein 5/15/05)
Why Me? Why Twins?? Why China???
These are the thoughts that I am pondering again today. Why? Because every time someone asks me "Are you still expecting twins" or "How do you know you'll get twins?" There is no answer except for "I still believe with all my heart" I guess I must not sound too convinced myself because my Mom just asked me AGAIN last night, and all I could say was "I'm still hoping" I'm so ready for our referral to come and our questions put to rest. Will I be disappointed if we don't get twins? NO. I am going to be very blessed with the child I am given. Will I be sad? Yes. I will be devestated that this has been a fruitless journey and I'll never be able to give Jaiden a real sister. I've never known what it's like to have a sister of my very own. This is why I pray for and long for this journey to lead the way to siblings. We could have chosen any country in the world. We could have adopted older siblings. But it was not our choice to make. Twins from China was conceived in my heart (Nov 04) and that is what grows there today. I cannot think of having one daughter without seeing her reflection mirrorred in the face of her sister. I cannot pray for one without praying for the other. And I cannot love one without loving the other just as much. I find myself needing not one but both of them to make the dream come true. I would love to give my daughter a sister and to make this journey again right away would mean another long wait. So we wait....and wait...and wait for the unknown. And pray that someday soon our miracle will come true.
Sunday, May 14, 2006
A tribute to a special Mother
Today I woke up thinking about our daughter and the fact that she should have been here by now. She should have woken us with her smile and laughter...but then I started thinking about the one who gave her life. She is the one that concieved my child, she is the one that carried my child in her for 9 months and she is the one that gave her a chance to live. She is the one that lovingly placed my child in a safe place where she could be found quickly and taken to someone who would care for her and give her the life she could not. She is the one who will forever wonder what her child becomes. She will wonder if she is healthy, happy and loved. She will wonder if she looks like her and how many of the same likes and dislikes that she has. She will pass along through her genes certain features that are uniquely hers but she will never know that. She'll never be able to go to her school play and proudly say "that's my girl". She'll never be able to blush with sheer joy and weep with inner torment as someone takes her hand in marriage and promises to love and cherish her forever. She will never know how many grandchildren look just like her. But the one thing I pray for her today and every Mother's day from now until forever is that her sacrifice will never be forgotten and I am truly grateful that she gave the gift of life to my daughter.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!
Happy Mother's Day! This is a very special day for all the Mother's out there. I pray that you all know how wonderful and special you are.
Happy Mother's Day!
SOMEONE said...
Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby Somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, "Normal," is history.
Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct ..
Somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.
Somebody said being a mother is boring ......
Somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.
Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child will "turn out good."
Somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.
Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices ...
Somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbor's kitchen window.
Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother.
Somebody never helped a fourth grader with her math.
Somebody said you can't love the fifth child as much as you love the first.
Somebody doesn't have five children.
Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books .
Somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose or in his ears.
Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery .....
Somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten.
or on a plane headed for military "boot camp."
Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back .
somebody never organized four giggling Brownies to sell cookies.
Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married .
Somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings.Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home ....
Somebody never had grandchildren
Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her .
Somebody isn't a mother.
Happy Mothers Day....... To all mothers .......pass this on to other mothers.....they'll appreciate it....... I certainly did
Happy Mother's Day!
SOMEONE said...
Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby Somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, "Normal," is history.
Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct ..
Somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.
Somebody said being a mother is boring ......
Somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.
Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child will "turn out good."
Somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.
Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices ...
Somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbor's kitchen window.
Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother.
Somebody never helped a fourth grader with her math.
Somebody said you can't love the fifth child as much as you love the first.
Somebody doesn't have five children.
Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books .
Somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose or in his ears.
Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery .....
Somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten.
or on a plane headed for military "boot camp."
Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back .
somebody never organized four giggling Brownies to sell cookies.
Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married .
Somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings.Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home ....
Somebody never had grandchildren
Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her .
Somebody isn't a mother.
Happy Mothers Day....... To all mothers .......pass this on to other mothers.....they'll appreciate it....... I certainly did
Saturday, May 13, 2006
The garden is coming along
We went out to water the garden. Lugged bucket after bucket of water to the back 40 (just kidding) and wouldn't you know it - as soon as we came inside it started raining. Boy does Guano STINK! OMG it reeked! How can something so NASTY smelling make food taste good? (We fertilized, in case you were wondering) This week the color is white. Every week there seems to be a new set of flowers popping up in the yard. This week irises and a bunch of other things I have no idea what they are are coming up all over. I am so enjoying having a yard with flowers! Each day is a blessing.
Check out our family website
The link to my very FIRST website (my baby) http://http://www.parentshack.com/site/index.jsp?sn=kleinsingermany Come visit! Sign the guestbook before you go :) Thanks!
All juiced up and ready to go...
Capri Sun 10 pks are on SALE this week in the commissary! Not only are they only $1.50 per pack - they are now buy one get one free!!! I LOVE a good sale! so my quick run to take JK pee turned into a full buggy of juices :) That should last my juice mongers a day or so!
The first commissary run this morning was to get Gatoraid for the team - we had a little "accident" JK was trying to help Mommy get the little buggers off the shelf when a big one got in the way and went "splat!" all over the floor. Cleanup on aisle 2b! SORRY!!! For the price of the Gatoraid I could have gotten 8 boxes of Capri Sun :( but I took one for the team and let JK pick his choice of juice since we only have one juice day all season.
We got to the field a bit late...but it's Tball so not a biggie. Just about 5 minutes into the game it started drizzling rain. Parents scrambled out to cars to search for jackets and umbrellas. I found a couple blankets and had had the insight to pack a hoodie for JK (he was freezing) Coach Lee chased him around the bases to help him put it on (too cute) after just one inning it started pouring so they called the game. We went home and changed into dry clothing and then headed back to base again for the team photo shoot...thus the 2nd commissary run to go pee. Photo shoot went great - then I realized after we were done that JK had a chocolate ring around his mouth (from snagging a free cookie at the commissary) the photographer made a note to "edit" the chocolate out of the photo.
Then it was off to the park for a birthday party. It was cool, then rainy, then warm and sunny, then cool again - all within a two hour stretch. By the time we got home it was warm again so we did some yard work. Then it rained again. Gotta love the weather in Germany.
The first commissary run this morning was to get Gatoraid for the team - we had a little "accident" JK was trying to help Mommy get the little buggers off the shelf when a big one got in the way and went "splat!" all over the floor. Cleanup on aisle 2b! SORRY!!! For the price of the Gatoraid I could have gotten 8 boxes of Capri Sun :( but I took one for the team and let JK pick his choice of juice since we only have one juice day all season.
We got to the field a bit late...but it's Tball so not a biggie. Just about 5 minutes into the game it started drizzling rain. Parents scrambled out to cars to search for jackets and umbrellas. I found a couple blankets and had had the insight to pack a hoodie for JK (he was freezing) Coach Lee chased him around the bases to help him put it on (too cute) after just one inning it started pouring so they called the game. We went home and changed into dry clothing and then headed back to base again for the team photo shoot...thus the 2nd commissary run to go pee. Photo shoot went great - then I realized after we were done that JK had a chocolate ring around his mouth (from snagging a free cookie at the commissary) the photographer made a note to "edit" the chocolate out of the photo.
Then it was off to the park for a birthday party. It was cool, then rainy, then warm and sunny, then cool again - all within a two hour stretch. By the time we got home it was warm again so we did some yard work. Then it rained again. Gotta love the weather in Germany.
I'm a blogger too!!!
I've moved up in the website world to blogger :) That's a BIG step (for me anyway) I'm kinda new to the blogging world. Welcome to all fellow bloggers! Hope to hear comments and hints to help make this site really cool.
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117b Tonguu babies
"The person who trusts the LORD will be blessed. Jeremiah 17:7"
About Me
- Kim
- I was born in Louisiana. I am a wife to Scott and a mother to Cody, Jared and Jaiden. I love the sun, warm weather, chocolate, foo foo coffee, animals of all kinds, making new friends, traveling and shopping.
Read more about us
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2006
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May
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- Is it realy the last day of May?
- Ugh! Not now...
- Let's play name that song...
- Sometimes I am just blown away
- Let them eat cake
- Golly Geeesers!
- What pet is for you?
- Unexpected Blessings
- One more month down...one tiny step closer
- Half a World Away
- New sofas
- Good Wishes Quilt
- 50 Questions
- This is beautiful...
- Faith like Abraham...
- Fruit of the earth
- Where is my baby?
- Why Me? Why Twins?? Why China???
- A tribute to a special Mother
- HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!
- Me
- The garden is coming along
- Check out our family website
- All juiced up and ready to go...
- I'm a blogger too!!!
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May
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