Saturday, October 07, 2006
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117b Tonguu babies
About Me
- Kim
- I was born in Louisiana. I am a wife to Scott and a mother to Cody, Jared and Jaiden. I love the sun, warm weather, chocolate, foo foo coffee, animals of all kinds, making new friends, traveling and shopping.
5 comments:
Maybe it is the stress of being isolated in another culture? It must be hard leaving your friends and family behind for so long.
~Monica
Yes, it is. Military life is not always fun. We feel totally isolated here and our family does not even bother to communicate with us.
I just lurk on your blog and have been meaning to congratulate you on your new daughter; she's adorable.
I understand what it's like to be in the military in Germany, having also been there. It can be really lonely. And it seems like as soon as you make a friend, they're sent elsewhere.
On top of everything else, I wonder if now that the adoption is finalized and you've settled into ordinary life, is it possible that things are a bit anticlimatic? Not in a bad way--you adore your daughter and it's a dream come true. But you've been going a million miles per hour trying to get her to you and now she's here and you probably need a mental health break from all the stress leading up to the adoption even while she needs you most right now? Does that make sense? And of course, the travel alone probably has your body all messed up.
And frankly, you deserved a shower for your daughter, some sort of celebration to put a final point on this journey and mark her entry into your family. I was disappointed when I read that you've had to put that off. People who've had an easy time adding to their family (and from what I can recall, the military is super-fertile) don't realize that this is every bit as special (more so, I think) than a birth. You have a right to feel bad about that.
Hang in there. Germany is awfully dark and cold this time of year but it only lasts so long.
Wow, there was a lot of wisdom in a number of points that Chris made. I think that is a really good point...that your body is probably jetlagged from your trip to pick your daughter up (not to mention the decrease in sleep you have probably experienced since bringing her home)...and just the normal let-down feeling that comes when a long-term goal has finally been realized...and the sadness that family is not there to share in your excitement and GET TO KNOW your new little one. That could really leave you feeling rather unloved and forgotten, even if you aren't. It is hard when our family doesn't live up to our hopes. I find that I just have to accept what my family CAN give me and let go of what I wish they could give me.
I think, too, that in the stress of being a mom, it is easy to wind up feeling empty and used up, sometimes. It the greatest thing that can happen to us (having kids), but it is also the most draining. I wish Germany were a bit closer to Missouri...we could take an evening away from our families and do something frivolous. I know my greatest aspiration nowdays is to actually get to go to WalMart ALL BY MYSELF! I love my kids, but it is just so freeing to have a bit of time away from them (especially with homeschooling two of them).
~Monica
How sweet of you to stop by my blog and say "hello"!
I always feel out of sorts with the world - I have learned to embrace it.
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