I am obese

I have been in denial for quite some time now but this morning I am coming to terms with the facts. I am obese. That is a big word. It means that I have let myself go totally. My body is now up to 47% body fat and my weight is in the 140s. My sedentary lifestyle is going to kill me if I do not do something to change. I eat healthy, but until I change something else my body will continue to pack on fat and become more and more lethargic. Causing me to therefore become more tired and even less active.

I want to be energized and full of vigor again. I want to glow from inside. I feel like I've lost that part of myself and I want to get it back again. It doesn't matter if I have the body of a model, that is just not me. But I would like to be strong and lean again. I haven't been lean since I was 10. I'm sure my sweet tooth has much to do with that. I tend to eat sweets instead of healthy foods which only makes me energized for a moment and then tired and hungry again an hour later. I am going to make a dilligent effort to eat more healthful foods and replace all those emty calories with nutrients that will feed my body and turn it into fuel for a vibrant life.

Much easier said than done. I have been eating healthy (no sweets) for a week now. After the 3 day vacation we had I thought I'd come back thin with all the walking we were doing. I was VERY good and didn't have a single fast food item. At the rainforest cafe I had a bowl of soup and a salad when I could have had a million other calorie laden dishes. At the fair I ate very little and gave most of whatever I had to hubs or one of the kiddos. I've been drinking so much water that I feel like I could float a boat. Maybe I am retaining water and my body is going through a "what the heck" phase. It doesn't know when the next "meal" of chocolate will come so it is retaining everything I consume. Today I am not as "puffy" as I was yesterday. My wedding ring would hardly fit and was cutting through my skin.

I am going to start a journal of what I eat to track and take accountability for the amount I consume on a daily basis. Not so much to count calories but find out where I may be overdoing it. I have been eating more consistantly throughout the day instead of single serving meals, hoping to rev my metabolism and energy levels.

Aug 31
0530 cup of coffee
0745 cup of coffee w/milk
0750-0900 1 cup oatmeal prepared with milk, honey and ground flaxseed *ugh... could only eat half of it because it is quite filling