Well, the CCAA posted their stats yesterday. It was not as good as hoped so it doesn't look like we will be next after all. They did match 9 days which is an improvement over the 7 last month and the 5 the month before that...we are still 20 days away from getting our chance. That may not seem far off to many but at the rate this has been going it seems like an eternity. Maybe end of July but I am so tired of hoping. Every month we hope for this month to have gotten us much closer so we could be NEXT but each month comes and goes and we are slowly creeping up on our date. The CCAA has already said it may take over a year now. Had we known that from the beginning I think it would have been easier. Expecting 6 months, hoping for that and then having our hopes crushed then and every month thereafter is really really tough.
Yesterday was the toughest day I've had thus far. Thanks to the blessing of wonderful friends I was surrounded by comforting words and prayer. It still hurts and I can't help but cry over this but I know we will get through somehow. Our turn will come someday, we just don't know when someday may be. Someday I may be able to agree that this has all been worth it for the blessing we are to receive but today just hurts. There is nothing to take away this pain. All you can do is survive it and grow stonger. Sometimes you just want to give in and give up but your heart won't let you let go. There is a little girl out there somewhere waiting for her Mommy to come get her and bring her home to her family. And her Mommy aches to bring her home.
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