These are the thoughts that I am pondering again today. Why? Because every time someone asks me "Are you still expecting twins" or "How do you know you'll get twins?" There is no answer except for "I still believe with all my heart" I guess I must not sound too convinced myself because my Mom just asked me AGAIN last night, and all I could say was "I'm still hoping" I'm so ready for our referral to come and our questions put to rest. Will I be disappointed if we don't get twins? NO. I am going to be very blessed with the child I am given. Will I be sad? Yes. I will be devestated that this has been a fruitless journey and I'll never be able to give Jaiden a real sister. I've never known what it's like to have a sister of my very own. This is why I pray for and long for this journey to lead the way to siblings. We could have chosen any country in the world. We could have adopted older siblings. But it was not our choice to make. Twins from China was conceived in my heart (Nov 04) and that is what grows there today. I cannot think of having one daughter without seeing her reflection mirrorred in the face of her sister. I cannot pray for one without praying for the other. And I cannot love one without loving the other just as much. I find myself needing not one but both of them to make the dream come true. I would love to give my daughter a sister and to make this journey again right away would mean another long wait. So we wait....and wait...and wait for the unknown. And pray that someday soon our miracle will come true.
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