A better day

Well I could go into an in depth explanation of why I've been so moody and depressed over the past few days but it would sound something like "Wa Wa Wa" so I will spare you the pain of reading about my hormonal imbalance and just say that PMS sucks! *Ok seems I DID go into dept about it ;) Sorry for the long post!

We are getting back into a groove again. Getting outside has helped immensely and there is actually some green starting to show in the lawn so I'm hopefull that spring is on it's way. Spring has always been my favorite time of the year. My Mom always planted daffodils so wherever we lived every spring we would have a mulititude of daffodils pop up when all the world was brown and still sleeping. Their bright sunny faces always symbolized the beginning of a special time for me. A time when I could kick off my shoes and run barefoot for the rest of the summer. Winter was finally over!!! I've always hated being cold - never had air conditioning growing up (in sultry Louisiana) so the heat and humidity never really bothered me. Now in Louisiana the "winter" is pretty much a dip in temps below freezing for a day or two and an occasional snowfall of a couple inches. I'd never experienced a post card winter until I met my Minnesotan husband and he took me home for Christmas...it was beautiful yes, but still cold in my opinion so I stated to him from the start "I will NEVER move to Minnesota"

Well one must never say never because we found out in November 2006 that Scott's Dad had terminal cancer. Scott had already been away from home for 20 years so his relationship with his dad was not as close as he would have liked and he needed to be there....so our 3 year tour in Germany ended at 2.5 when we were approved for a humanitarian assignment to Grand Forks. So here we are, arriving to the Frozen Tundra on Jan 11, 2007 - the day the temps plummeted. We drove from Albany, MN to Grand Forks and watched the temps as they went from the 30's to lower...and lower....and lower. When we got out for gas at the station in Grand Forks we were at -5! Our first breath felt like knives going down and the wind almost cuts you in half. It was COLD! I looked over at my husband and smiled and said "I Love You!"

Fast forward a bit since the temps just got lower and lower and we got lots and lots of snow over the next 3 months....so getting out of our tiny 2 bedroom apt on base was suicide since we only had one car I was not about to WALK anywhere in that mess. Boredom, cabin fever, dislocation, a feeling of being in limbo (not being able to find a house), sadness over the fast decline of Dad, lack of friends etc. It all started working on us. Our stress levels hit their peaks. Finally we find a house to buy since rentals here are just pathetically overpriced and run down, but it too had "issues" of it's own. Costly issues it turns out and hindsight tells us that we should have made a much lower offer but we do like the house and can hopefully suck it up and do a lot of the repairs ourselves...except now that we are all moved in Scott's Dad is no longer with us. Scott has ALWAYS called on his dad for advice on what to do in regards to any of the houses we lived in - from fixing the plumbing to repairing a wall, Dad could do anything. Now that we have a house full of "issues" Scott really has moments when he would like to pick up the phone and call Dad for advice...only Dad is not here anymore. So this has all compounded the feelings we've had building up inside of us most of the winter. Time will heal but sometimes we just get a bit depressed and lonely feeling.

We have so much to be thankful for and yes counting our blessings is easy enough. We are grateful for the grace to get through those days when we are muddled a bit by lifes curves. Thank You for reading, I hope I haven't bored you. Just needed to get that off my chest.