Kleins in Germany are moving!!!

Yes it's Official! We are moving to Grand Forks in January!!! We have had many great times in Germany and made lots of memories that will never be forgotten...

I have Myspace

My address is http:/www.myspace.com/bluebell71

Happy Thanksgiving!

We had a great Thanksgiving with our friends the Slater family. We had ham and turkey, stuffing, corn, pototoes, green beans, and lots and lots of yummy desserts. The moms and children made cookies and the kids decorated them. It was a great day and we are so thankful for of our many blessings! Hope you all had a wonderful day!

If we live, we are living for the Lord, and if we die, we are dying for the Lord. Romans 14:8

Scott's Dad has terminal cancer.

This is by far the hardest post I've ever had to write. The past two weeks have been a blur since we heard that news. Scott is going to apply for a humanaitarian assignment to Grand Forks, ND which is only 3 hrs away from his home town and if it goes through we could be out of here in as little as 2-3 weeks. The past weeks have brought back vivid memories of my childhood, where as a 9 year old I watched my stepdad literally melt before my eyes from terminal lung cancer. This is not going to be easy.

So kleinsingermany will become...kleinsindakota? I am a southern girl (75 and up is my comfort zone)not too familiar with the frozen tundra of the northern hemisphere. From what I'm hearing it can get to temps of -80 degrees!!! I've decided that if at all possible I will set up a "tropic zone" in the basement with sun lamp and even the smell of pina colada in the air - I may even put in some sand for good measure :) It will be my "sun room" - so if anyone hears of any good deals on home tanning beds please pass them my way ;)

Photos to share

I haven't shared any photos lately so here are a few to go along with the stories...
ok it seems I have somehow deleted the really good photos I wanted to share. The above is a photo on the way to Trier...sitting at a light

Please email me at kimklein7671@yahoo.com if you'd like to chat - Mary I do see your comments but I cannot reply to you through blogger.

Saying Farewell

Today is a sad day. I just found out my cousin Pam passed away yesterday afternoon. She has been suffering for quite a while from a kidney disease but it is still so sad to have her gone. This makes the 3rd cousin (close to my age)that I've lost since we arrived here in Germany. So the feeling of getting farther away from family grows every day. Someday we will not have the ones that actually talk to us (Moms, Aunts etc) then what family will we have??? It is sad. Sad that we used to be so close and now are so far away from each other and don't do whatever it is that needs to be done to close that gap more often. I've tried to reach out through my websites and blogs but don't ever hear from anyone in return. I just don't know what else to do.

Frost is on the pumkins ;)

We woke up yesterday to a blanket of white frost. I think winter has officially arrived (Jared was soooo excited to see white) and giggled like crazy at me while I scraped the ice from the windows of my car! He thought that was the coolest thing!

I'm not sure if I am really ready for this but I do not want to be in the funk that I've been in for the past two years....so I am going to TRY to find the positives in all this...besides it being our last winter here ;)

I vow to get out in spite of the cold and do some traveling. I've always wanted to go to Italy and by golly I am going to do it!!! Don't know how or when yet but at least getting there is now my goal.

Days are short and everyone in this family is taking turns being sick so at some point there is someone to nurse at all times...including myself, I've had a terrible headache for 3 days and now my ears are starting to drain and I am getting a toothache and sore throat. Great! I really can't afford to be sick when my family needs me. I will drink lots of tea and hopefully shake it off quickly.

We finally got packages in the mail - party supplies (for the party we had two weeks ago) and Jaiden's halloween costume (a very adorable caterpillar) I did some Christmas shopping online only to find out as I was checking out that they won't deliver to an APO address UGH! I'm thinking we will have an old fashioned Christmas this year. There is just no time to go shopping after work so we will have to make the best of what we have and enjoy the time we have together.

Cody is home!!!

Cody came home yesterday!!! It is so good to have him back home again. The house just felt an eerie emptyness without him here. He is recouperating well and should maybe be able to return to school tomorrow? We'll see how he's doing after seeing the mass amount of homework he has to catch up on! ;)

Not alot going on around here. Fall has come and the leaves are changing. Not as vibrant this year as the first year we were here, this year they are more like an orangey brown and some muted yellows. Ah well, it's our last fall in Germany! :)

Jared keeps asking "Is it winter yet?" "What day is winter?" "How many more minutes till winter?" UGH! He's his father's son when he does things like that! We got him some new snow pants this weekend while in Trier so now he is ready to go!

The temps are supposed to be dropped into the 40s by the end of the week so he may get his wish soon. I hope there is lots of snow this year - We live on a hill so snow would mean no getting out or in - we could stay home, sip cocoa, build a fire and cuddle under blankets and read all day (that's how I like to spend winter)

Cody is in the hospital...

We thought he was recoving well, but yesterday morning Cody starting spitting up blood and then throwing up blood. Scott took him to ER on Fi morning, where of course they couldn't do anything so they called for an ambulance to take him to the Trier hospital. He was admitted for three days for observation. As of 8 pm last night he was doing better but I thought that same thing several days ago so no I'm not breathing any easier yet. He was able to eat some bread and butter and kept it down. I hate to see him so weak and in pain and covered in blood OMG - when I got to the hospital it was splattered all over his face and hands. Had to get him cleaned up and into some comfy jammas but it was still hard to walk away and leave him in that hospital room all alone. I hate hospitals and they give me the creeps but I didn't want to leave him there all alone either.

We are going back to visit in a little while. Please pray that he makes a speedy recovery and gets to come home soon. The house just don't seem right without him here and I have no one to fight off the computer - I miss him!

Cody's Tonselectomy

Cody had a tonselectomy on Tuesday and it went well. Scott took him to Landstuhl on Monday morning for check-in with the doctor and an appt with the anethesisiologist. Then they shopped all the rest of the day...and can you believe it that they didn't find a single thing??? Not even one! Not even a pack of gum! I can't go into a store without buying SOMETHING - I feel like I'm being watched for shoplifting or something...what's up with that? Ever since that time when I was 5 and the pack of gum somehow made it out with me and I thought it was paid for...I've had a guilty feeling when I go into a store and not purchased anything. Now they'll see me coming with a big SUCKER sticker stuck on my forehead.

Anyway, back to Cody - he is doing better but still in great pain. The percocet is making him a bit loopy and sometime nauseus so we are going to cut it back a bit. He actually went for a walk to the park with us today. It was a gorgeous afternoon and since he is out of school all week I must go pickup the littler kiddos from school each day. We really enjoyed the rare and unusual burst of warmth and sunshine.

Not much else going on around here to talk about. Anything interesting in your neck of the woods? I'd love to hear from you!

Still Breathing...

Winter has started kicking in here in Germany, it gets dark by around 6 now so survival mode is kicking in. All I want to do is sleep the next 7 months away...my mood is not letting up any at all. It still feels like we are on some lonely isolated planet far far away...even when we are in a crowd of "friends" - people we like a lot and talk to when we see them but beyond that have no relationship with.

Blogging and meeting new friends used to sorta fill that void but lately it just hasn't been enough. I miss having someone to make me laugh, someone who really knows me and connects with what I am talking about.

So we breathe and go on. One step at a time till we move past this...however long it may take.

I need some help

Lately I have been feeling like I exist on a different planet from the rest of the world and it is a very lonely feeling. I don't know what to do about it and I'm not sure where to start. What is wrong with me??? Is there anyone who understands what I am feeling?

Flashback

In honor of Birthday week I would like to do some flashback trivia. What were some of your favorite or least favorite shows of the 80s? In no particular order, please add yours to the comments section.

Facts of Life - Didn't everyone just HATE Blair and LOVE Jo? (You take the good, you take the bad...)
Little House on the Prairie – every afternoon after school
Dukes of Hazzard - I joined the Bo Duke fan club
Knight Rider – Kit was my favorite car
The A team – Mr. T was no fool
The Cosby Show – Dad always had the answer
Different Strokes – What you talkin’ bout willis?
Full house – John Stamos was my first crush
Magnum PI – loved the car! And the theme song!
Love boat – I still sing that theme song!
Fantasy Island – De Plane! De Plane!
Family Ties – Alex was a bit stuffy back then
Moonlighting – Bruce and what's her name = no chemisty (Boring)
Hart to Hart - which one was prettier?
Quincy - man that guy was smart!
Who's the Boss - Loved the redhead lady
21 Jump Street - Johnny Depp was so hot!
Charles in Charge - need I say more
Growing Pains - Kirk was a dreamboat
MacGyver- loved those cool tricks he could do with a paper clip
Miami Vice - Hot Hot Hot

It's Birthday Week!!!

Time to CELEBRATE life!!! We are having a party going on all week long here - ok it's a wee tiny party (only the 5 of us) but we are celebrating none the less and eating lots of sweets in honor of birthdays. Cody turned 15 on Tuesday and Scott turns ?? today! Can you guess his age? Ok the cake gives it away but you have to search for the cake...little trivia to see if anyone actually reads this blog :)

Another Absess?

About two months ago Cody, the one child of mine whom has only been sick a very few times in his 15 years came down with a horrible sore throat that floored him and left him bedridden for a week then Dad took him to the hospital (I pass out in any situation involving my children and injuries) where the doctor removed a huge, gross amount of puss from his throat. Yuck! Serious Yuck but as soon as the doc removed the puss the pain was gone and he was back to his normal self again.

Well he has had that nasty sore throat all weekend and now on his way back to the hospital for surgery to remove the absess. Please keep him in prayer as his pain tolerance is pretty low...gets that from his Mom.

His 15th birthday is Tuesday and it will realllly stink to not be able to taste his special dinner. I made him a cake today but he wasn't able to even taste it yet.

What do you mean there's no buffet at this hotel???

Our first week back has been quite a rough one. We wake on SOFT beds and have to make our own breakfast! The beds in China ARE as hard as concrete but I swear I slept better for those two weeks than I ever have in my life! Every day this week I wake with about a dozen aches and pains and the distinct feeling that I didn't rest very well. In China I was up with Jaiden at 6 am ready to go! Now we are both exhausted and grumpy and can't seem to get into a very good sleeping pattern.

Monday my body decided to finally catch up to me and give me a Migraine too! YUCK! Nauseus pounding in the eyes, had to go lie down in a dark room and veg - not my cup of tea when there is a baby in the house that wants to play. I think my body finally was saying "It's ok to drink the water here now drink up!" I was a bit dehydrated - you have to make a concientious effort to hydrate in China and when you are on the go all the time lugging big bottles of water around is not always efficient.

It is now Friday and I can't believe we have been home for nearly a week already! We are getting settled in very well in spite of sleep deprivation. The boys adore their sis and love to hang out with her and play...and she equally adores them too!
Things are starting to settle into a routine - and it feels just right to have pink baby socks mixed in with boy socks :) Life is good!

Home at Last!!!

It is SO GOOD TO BE HOME!!! China was awesome but we missed the boys like crazy. Next time our China adventure will involve the whole family and yes we are looking forward to going back for a visit someday.

I will post a few photos on here but our daily photo journey can be found on the link above. Thank You for visiting our site and following our journey to bring Jaiden home!!! She is adjusting very well and the boys have bonded with her like you wouldn't believe. It's just amazing to watch her grow! We are truly blessed beyond measure!

*Blogger takes forever to upload photos and I took over 800 in China so if you'd like to see more just hit the link on the title of this post. I just love reading everyones comments - they really make my day! Thanks for visiting!

Jared's First Day of School

Photo Sharing - Upload Video - Video Sharing

4 Days till we travel!!!!

We have TA!!! We have a Consulate Appointment of 20 Sept!!! We are leaving on MONDAY!!! We found out just today that we leave for China in 4 days!!! Amazing!

We have an Itenerary:

Leave Frankfurt on Monday at 2:40 pm
Arrive in Shanghai Tuesday Morning at 7 am

Leave Shanghai on Saturday at 11:55 pm
Arrive in Frankfurt Sunday morn at 0500

We're on our way!!!

No Fireworks, No TAs

Extreme cuteness going on here! That is Jared on the pony ride in Sept 04'

This year we (ok I) didn't feel much like going to see fireworks at the annual Burhncastle wine festival. We've been every year that we've been here and I just knew we would be taking Jaiden on the pony ride this year...but we are still waiting.

So this weekend is just one extremely LONG and lazy weekend. We should be getting TA notification and then CA soon - when? No idea. We may be traveling next month since all the appts must have been taken by now. I am really crabby about that and ready to get all this waiting over with.

So what are we doing this weekend? Sat we bought a new digital camera! I left our old one in the car on one of those really hot days in July and it fried it. ooops!

played with my movie maker (love my new Sony VAIO laptop)I am making a video for Jaiden check it out and let me know what you think of my amateur video production abilities.

September

The first day of September was GORGEOUS!!! Clear blue, sunny skies and I started out wearing a sweater and had changed into a very thin t-shirt by noon. It was a semi lazy day, took care of some errands in the morning, visited with my friend Heather and then did some shopping (found some travel supplies and two cute shirts for Jaiden) plus mittens for Jaiden and Jared. Jared was convinced he needed a snowsuit right away but I managed to talk him out of the very thin one in the store. Came home and lounged in the ZUN room in the ZUN :) (like a lazy cat) then took some steaks over to our friends house and grilled/had dinner and a movie (The Terminal) GREAT movie! Tom Hanks rocks! Is there anything that man cannot do? (Going through the airport security belt x-ray thingie had me rolling)

Today is early yet but it seems to be a nice day. This weekend is our last Buhrncastle fireworks event so we will probably go there. It has been a yearly event we've attended the past 2 years we've been here and the fireworks are beyond spectacular! I can still almost taste the grit of the fireworks in the air - the air is completely filled with smoke after they are done (after about an hour of earth shaking explosions) I will make sure I pack the Visine this time!

OK, here it is

I gol darn went and done it - I went out and bought a new camera to add to my enormouse array of cameras...it's more than a hobby - it's a lifetime passion! So here's the camera that I chose...its a JVC mini DV - very low priced (didn't want to blow my airfare budget at this point) but I really needed something small and this baby is only a lb! I can hang it around my neck! How cool is that :) So instead of squishing it in my backpack and taping the darkness inside maybe I will actually be able to get some actual video footage this time! Woo Hooo!

I desperately need some advice

I beg of you folks out in blog land - PLEASE come out of lurkdome and give me some advice on what to do about buying a new camcorder. Our current one is a 2000 model Sony 8mm and it used to be able to be downloaded onto our computer for video editing but I used that feature once during the entire time I've owned it and somewhere in the midst of our many moves and computer upgrades we've lost the software to make it work on an editing program. So all those years of the kids growing up are lost unless I can find a program that can edit them onto DVD...

Our newest dilemma is what camera to upgrade to for our trip to China. I would like to have a professional do the video but I would also like to be able to edit and burn my own DVDs of family events as well. What kind of camera has all the features I need to take good video, edit it on my computer for DVD and still be easy to use?

I am really researching the JVC Everio Mig77 and the Sony 100 of similar features. The prices are way up there and we can not order them online so I am thinking of buying a simple mini DV camera instead and waiting until the prices go down on the JVC model before I take the plunge on a hard drive camera.

What should I do? Please tell me what camcorder you use and the features you love and hate most about it. I'm forever in your debt fellow DIY photo editors. Thank you with every megapixel of my heart :)

It's the final countdown!!!

Wooo Hoo!!! We hit our two year anniversary of being in Germany yesterday!!!! Which means that we will be out of here in less than 365 days!!!! Let the countdown begin! Ok, I started the countdown months ago :) on our family website. I am just a tiny bit excited to go someplace WARM and SUNNY. Germany is great, it's a beautiful place to visit - which of course no one would know because no one has visited us :( It is also very lonely here and no one (in the military community)really takes the time to get to know each other or be there for each other.

Overall, It's been a great assignment and we've made lifetime friendships here. We were able to be closer to Mike and Sarah and we've seen some very interesting places. I'm going to miss the feeling of security here and the feeling that we live in a peaceful world. I may even miss driving 80-90 mph and being passed like I'm sitting still. (hmmmm...hope I don't get too many speeding tickets when we go back) But I am ready to go home.

It's a mite bit chillin this month

We are having a cold cold August this year. We have had several days when we light a fire in the wood stove and wear sweats...brrr! So much for summer - the only warm days were in July and then it was miserably hot...so I guess there is not a zone where you can actually enjoy the wonders of summer here. Sorry to vent but this weather is very depressing and it usually doesn't start getting cold this early in the year....so I'm really ready for a sunny vacation about now and winter is far from even beginning.

Where have we been????

I know it's been a while since I posted an update. We've been in this whole different world that doesn't quite seem real but it has a whole different feel to it that is undescribable. Sometimes it seems the month will never end and then at times it seems there is so much to do to prepare to leave for China that time needs to slow down...

Sarah came for a visit last week and it was great having her here. I will post some photos of that soon - right now I have to get ready for work :( UGH! Not a happy place - I miss my office! Good thing it's only for a month but after 2 weeks I'm already worn down. Learing a new job at this critical place in my life has not been easy. So many changes that I am finding it hard to keep up with and some of the computer programs are not working so that makes things 10x harder...but of course we must to the same amount of work in the same amount of time with very few people...

Ok, now I really have to go. I hope everyone is doing well! Love to hear from you sometime :)
Hugs,
Kim

Stuck in hibernation mode...

That is what my computer said when I tried booting it up this morning and I that is pretty much my sentiments exactly. Today it is so COLD. We are wearing our winter sweats and cuddling under blankets to keep from lighting a fire. The one month of summer was pretty extreme but it was nice while it lasted. It went from being cold in June, HOT in Jul, to chilly and rainy in Aug! Great weather!!!! NOT :P I am ready for a REAL summer that lasts and lasts. The one hot month with no air conditioning is not what summer is all about.

I miss:
Summer showers and skipping through puddles

Ice cream every day

watching water bead up on a glass of ice cold sweet tea

the taste of ice cold sweet tea on a hot sultry afternoon

crickets chirping, toads croaking

walking barefoot

sitting in a sunbeam and letting the warmth of the sun melt away my worries

and oh so much more....the dark gloomy weather is giving me a migraine so I can't blog very long today. Hope that you are having a happy sunshine day where ever you may be! :)

What are YOUR favorite summertime activities/memories??? Please do tell!

*On a more positive note - Sarah just arrived for a one week visit!!! Our first family to visit us in our new home :) Yay!!!!

Jaiden

There is so much to love about Jaiden...every day I discover something new. Just today I noticed how her hair has a tendency to curl at the ends. I wonder if she has naturally wavy hair? I've always been a sucker for curls!

Shopping Day

Jared and I had a fun afternoon of shopping Saturday. Somehow Jared wound up with about 30 pairs of new socks...they were only .49 euro and I went a little crazy! Hey, the boy likes his socks! Not the white cotton ones, oh no! They are too loose - he prefers the tight clingy nylon socks. He also likes to button his shirts all the way up. Where he gets this is beyond me...

We found some cute girlie outfits too and started working on preparing a care package. Now that we have an idea of what Jaiden's size will be at the time we bring her home we can start formulating her wardrobe. The entire wardrobe we've been working on is all wrong - 18 mo and up! So Jaiden will have lots of cute clothes when she reaches toddler stage...but right now she's got diapers and that is about it.

*A note about shopping on Saturday in Germany - stores are only open from about 0900 - 2 pm on SATURDAY. I had forgotten to get a gift bag so we went to the walkplatz later in the afternoon and everything was closed! I couldn't believe it!!! They are only open 0900-6pm during the week too so I will have to hurry if I want to find any stores open around here....I don't get home from work until around 5pm.

Life is Good!

We are so blessed and very in love with our new daughter. She is the cutest thing! We can't wait to meet her and bring her home in September. I know just by looking at her that she is very healthy and quite spoiled already so she must be getting awesome care by her Foster Mom. I know it will be hard on her to say goodbye and I wish there were some way to repay her for taking such wonderful care of our girl. I will be forever indebted to her for being such a loving and kindhearted person and giving such selfless dedication to this child.

The Referral Call!!!

We were about as stressed as we could possibly be so after checking all the boards and not seeing any info, Scott called our agency - they still had not heard any news. They said they would call their Agency and get back to us....so we decided to not wait by the phone biting our nubs off - fingernails are way past gone - so we took a stroll to the Chinese restaurant down the street. About the time our dinner was served Cody calls us on the cell phone...our agency just called and they have "Good News"!!! So we continue to eat...after all this wait do we really think they have a referral ready??? Anticipation builds and eating is fruitless - the food has no taste any more. We book it out of there and practically run most of the way home. Scott calls the agency back - no answer! He calls again - whew! They pick up! We have a daughter!!! Her stats:
Name: Tong Min Se
Born: 12/20/05
Jiangxi Province
We are already so in love!!! We should get photos tommorrow.

Oh, and our fortunes:
Scott - your friend needs attention (???)
Jared - You'll stay a very healthy person (so true - he LOVES veggies)
Kim - No one will fight against your luck

Hangin...by a very thin read thread

It is August and we off for another fun day in GI land. Hoping that today is the day and we will maybe hear something this afternoon...

It's Monday...do you know where your daughters at?

Today I start Reserve IDTs - this is good and bad because for 1) I will not be in front of a computer all day 2) instead I'll be getting hot and sweaty in a dirty warehouse so thoughts of my daughter and when we will meet should not be running through my head...well it was a thought anyway! the LABOR has been intense and painful and my nerves are pretty well shot through and through already. I didn't think I could possibly feel like this another month and THIS month was the month for sure. I suppose if we are really lucky we may see our daughter tonight after the rest of the world wakes up and goes to work - but more than likely we won't see her until Tues or Wednesday! Each second is a moment too long - we have been apart too long and all it will take is a photo and she will become a real person and not just a dream. I sometimes wonder if I made this all up and my agency will call at any minute and say "What referral" that is about how close to falling over the edge of anticipation I am. I don't see how anyone could be calm and rational right now - the weekend of waiting it out has been torture!

So here we are....still waiting. Hoping to meet our daughter soon. Joyful with every parent that has recieved their little blessings so far (there have been several photos posted). And yet we wonder when that call will come...

we're still waiting...

I could go for a big honkin piece of ice cold chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and a really tall ice cold glass of milk about now...of course that isn't allowed on day 5 of the South Beach Diet plan :( What do they know? Comfort food IS healthy! It eases your mind and soothes your spirit. Chocolate can make any situation better. So I guess I should have named this blog "Do they have Chocolate in China" a spin from M3's awesome blog.

Of course I never knew what a blog was until I met M3. That blog is so the best ever! When no one I know will give me the time of day I can always go there and have a good laugh or cry. I love her honesty and realism. Nothing is ever held back - she's my kinda gal.

I love my chocolate like she loves her salsa :) I like it for breakfast, I like it for dinner and I like it for lunch, I could eat it on a plane. I could eat it on a train. I could eat it in a box and I could eat it with a fox...but I wouldn't have to share because foxes don't eat chocolate:) I could eat it here or there...well, I could eat it anywhere! I like chocolate yes I do! I like CHOCOLATE how bout you???

Ok, now that was fun. Now I'm off to find something for dinner...chocolate ricatta is on the SB Diet - if I skip dinner can I have a double shot???

Birthdays and Anniversaries :)

Happy 3rd Birthday to our nephew Sam! It's been so long since we've seen you I bet you've grown into a very handsome young man! Jared made sure we knew today was your day! Party on man ;)

Scott and Kim celebrate 11 Fabulous years of wedded bliss today :) It has been totally amazing and the years only deepens our love for each other. Scott is the best friend a person could ever hope to have and He's my rock when I need support and my foundation when I feel the urge to fly. I am truly the most blessed girl on Earth. I look forward to the many years of memories we have to share together and love to reflect back upon the memories we've made. 11 Year Anniversary's gift is Steel. I can't think of a single thing that you would want made of steel but I do know that you "STILL STEAL my heart with every look and I look forward to STEALING kisses from you at every chance I get" :) How's that for corny romantic poetry?

Why do I keep changing the title of this blog...?

I really liked the title KleinsinGermany but it seemed I was doing more belly aching than blogging about our family so I thought I would change the title to something more appropriate to how I was feeling - thus "The Square Peg" was founded. Then I started getting bored with that and I don't like thinking of myself as any sort of peg - square, round or otherwise...so I need help coming up with a new title. Something that is a better reflection of who I am. So I am opening this challenge to you to see what you think my title bar should be.

Fore! Be on the lookout - Our referral is coming! We don't know when - we are still pretty much in limbo as to whether or not it will be this month or not. Our agency knows NOTHING and will not know until after the stork takes off whether we have a baby on the way. So we wait, and we wait, and we wait some more. If you would like to follow the day by day updates of the adoption please check out the blog "Born in My Heart". The link is on the side bar and I will be posting the moment by moment play by plays as we hear something in the upcoming week.

It's so so HOT HOT HOT in the EIFEL! I am LOVING it! We need a rain really badly or the vegetation is going to all dry up and wither away, but I have been lugging buckets of water to the pots each day to keep them hydrated and alive. There is NO AIR CONDITIONING in any of our buildings so we have to open windows and run the fans...which only circulates the hot air. So it is usually much much hotter inside than it is outside. Makes for miserable working conditions when you are fully dressed and sticking to your chair...I would rather be barefoot and lounging outside with my spray bottle soaking up the sun rays :) Loving the sun, and the warmth - it gets miserable inside yes, but all the more reason to go outside and enjoy the day.
All too soon this will be over and winter will come back - blehh!

We are going to go "cruise the Mosel" tonight with the 22 (my squadron) It was so much fun last year and we are really looking forward to it again. We will ride the boat for about an hour and then go to Chicken Willies for dinner - best chicken in the world! You get the WHOLE chicken! I will take photos this time - last year my batteries died on me. This year I go prepared.

Back to School Shopping 101

What's the best way to shop?

Normally, I love to roam the isles in search of a good bargain but since we are very limited in our shopping capabilities here I have taken to shopping online for all of our needs. So what does a busy Mom do when her two favorite students need back to school gear? Let them create a "wish list" online of course! Then I can go online at my leisure and weed out the "I don't think so" from the "ok - that's acceptable" while teen sleeps :) no battles, no whining, no long lines, driving miles to find a good price on jeans and shoes...it's all point and click and VOILA! shopping done - happy kids and a happy Mom :) = priceless!

What is my favorite places to shop? Amazon.com, Kohls.com and Eastbay.com - please let me know if you have recommendations on other sites.

There's just a LOT of me to love :)

Ok, so the diet I planned (30 lbs in 30 days) is not working. I think my body is laughing at me...hysterically!!! I haven't lost a since ounce! I've been drinking water and haven't had chocolate or soda in 3 weeks....and I've been excercising. Something has to give here. I've been eating healthy and I've started logging in everything I eat...I found a cool new website to track health and fitness. It's a great motivator! After only 2 days I could tell I was seriously iron and calcium deficient. It's a great site for learning how to get healthy and stay healthy for life. Check it out!

These photos are of the me now (the Chocoholic) and the me after I get to my goal weight of 112 lbs.

Tuesday Update

Its been quite an interesting week thus far and we are only into Tuesday. Yesterday I made a Dr appointment for Cody because he has had a sore throat and fever for the past 3 days and wouldn't you know it, Jared had a field trip at the same exact time...so Scott took on Dr duty while I went on the hike into the unknown...in my work shoes (not very comfy for hiking) Thus our day goes something like this - I get there for the "walk" and all these German Mom's and Dad's are dressed for a SERIOUS hike - hiking boots, backbacks - the works! I say to the nearest English speaking Mom "uh, where is the walk going?" "oooooh, we're not going far - just into the woods a bit" so off we go, we're walking, we're walking - not sure where we are walking to but we're following the crowd of kindergarteners into to wild unknown. So a few minutes and what seemed like miles later we came to a cabin in the woods where there was a field and some picnic tables. There we sat and rested up a bit while the kids had a soda pop then we followed the teachers into the WOODS and folks started gathering up wood like they were gearing up for winter or something. Then they started CUTTING down trees and stringing up ropes - all the while gathering and gathering more sticks - I had no earthly idea what was going on! Within 30 minutes they had erected a good sized tent made of small trees and covered in sticks and leaves a circle of branches with leaves on top for cushion and numerous obstacles for the kids. (I wish I'd remembered my camera) It was quite a sight and put the boy scout camp my brother attended when I was 10 to shame. Boy Scouts have nothing on German Kindergarten teachers!

Anyway, after about two hours of "roughing it" in the woods, Jared and I snuck out and headed back to the car. Somehow along the way I became "carrier of the stick" the prize that Jared walked away from his woodland adventure with. Jared was walking just in front of me and we were almost to the car when I said something and Jared turned towards me and whamo! right in the eye with the stick. I knew for sure I had impaled his eye and he would never see again - I just knew I was going to have him gushing blood at any second - after we got across the street and back to the car and he was able to take his hand away from his eye and stop crying it turned out to only be a tiny scratch. Thank God! (I tend to have a history of passing out when my boys are having a medical emergency - it's so traumatic) We got back to the car and Scott had written me a note that he had to take Cody to the hospital 2 hrs away to have an absess drained...so we rush home to change and prepare for a trip to the hospital but Scott called just as I got home and said they were done and on their way back. It turned out he had an infection in his throat/sinus cavity and the Dr took an enormous amount of puss out of it (BLEH!) Yep, I would have passed out for sure. Cody is doing so much better already and it's good to see him up after 3 days of him not wanting to get out of bed.

This morning I picked up my first hitch hiker. Yes, he was surprised too (that an American woman would pick him up) but I figured it was the least I could do after I almost drove him over...he was standing really close to the road or maybe he was IN the road - I didn't have much time to think about it and I only took him about 1 mile down the road. We conversed about the fact that I would NEVER have even dared to think about giving a stranger a ride had I been in America and then told him that there were all kinds of dangers in hitch hiking in America...should he ever visit I'm pretty sure I scared the poor man out of even thinking about hitch hiking.

And last story of the day happened during lunch today as I was checking out a Mom with her 3 very small boys was also getting her groceries together and one of the little ones snuck out the side door beside the one she was in and when she turned around and didn't see her I could just see the heart attack about to happen on her face. Since I seemed to be the only one in the store that had seen which direction the little boy had taken I pointed to her which way he'd gone and so everyone is looking around and then he appears on the other side by the road. Scary moment for all and made me think about being extra thankful that there are always eyes watching over us and we could always use an extra hand or two in life even if it comes from a stranger.

PMS comes at the worst of times

I am hoping that no men read my blog and if so be warned that the topic is one of hormones and womenly wonders. The mood I've been in for the past few days...well it turned out to be a terrible case of PMS. A terrible case indeed. Do I really need to go through this every month of the next 10 years or so? When does menapause start? I'm actually looking forward to that if it will eliminate the monthly reminder of the terrible failure I am at making babies. My heart is full of fertility and conceives often enough that I should have a full house by now. Only the children of my heart are out there somewhere and I haven't met them yet. This is terribly depressing because I don't want to be miserable...I would love to be complete with the two wonderful sons I have been blessed to give birth to. I don't think I am a very amazing Mom so why should I be trying to increase my gaggle? The only thing I know is that I love children very much and the ones I love the most of all are the ones that call me Mommy and say things that melt my heart like "Mommy you're beautiful" when I don't have a speck of makeup on and my hair is a freak show. I'd pass up all the treasures on earth to have that every day of the rest of my natural life.

My "Moms" don't understand my need to nurture and raise my own children because they each are the oldest child in a family of 6. They raised their brothers and sisters and had no desire for a full house by the time they had children of their own. All they want is peace and quiet. I on the other hand was an only daughter and the baby of the family of 4. (three older brothers) pretty much grew up alone. No one to talk to, argue with or share secrets with. Just me and my stray animals and whatever animals we had on our farm. It was very lonely. I always dreamed of meeting the perfect man and having a house full of screaming, laughing, larger than life children. This was my idea of the perfect life and the perfect family.

Right now I just feel that all my dreams along with the hope they inspired has been crushed. I know I have been beyond blessed. I know everyone reading this is saying "get over it". I will but for the moment I am very very sad and blue. I feel so broken, empty, crushed and worthless inside. Is there anyone out there who understands what I am feeling??? Will I be forever blue?

35

My birthday 7.06.06 I was not in the greatest of moods...but the guys tried really hard to cheer me up by taking me to the Lotus but it wasn't open yet so we went for ice cream instead. Later on, Scott and I walked over to the local restaurant down the street. It was nice and quiet and very good food. Not the Lotus (my favorite Chinese restaurant in Bitburg) but it was nice to try something new. Scott went to the airport to see Mike off and cam home with these beautiful lavender flowers. My Mom sent me an ecard with a Larkspur on it and all my cards were lavender. And the candle at the restaurant was lavender...and the cotton candy icecream I ate was lavender and pink. I guess it was just a lavender day :)

Spazzing

Yesterday I was in a much better mood - today I'm not sure what kind of mood I'm in. I hope this entire month isn't like this. I am trying to stay away from the boards and the inbox but I keep going back to check - no mail. I guess I really did it this time. No one is "speaking" to me now. I guess I deserve that after the mean things I've said. I'm putting our family website in a time out until my mood regulates. This blog is the only one I will maintain this month. ~~~~~ It will be a reflection of my many moods :) :( :P:D Won't THAT be enjoyable! LOL

Tommorrow is a better day

The sun will come out tommorrow....that is a great song. My two day blue mood is passed THANK YOU GOD and I would like to say I am sorry to anyone who's feelings I hurt. I realize I "went off" on a lot of innocents and I was wrong.

I also realize now that I am a square peg in a round hole family. I just don't fit in. I love to travel and I love to read and write. My family and most of the friends I have do not. This is something I will have to learn to accept and move on. I still love my family and friends but I do not feel close to them. They do not understand me. Sometimes I don't understand me. I am a very moody person and not all of the moods are good. That's just who I am. I cannot be happy, happy, joy, joy all the time. I sometimes get "moody" and blue. That is part of who I am too. I like to write about all of these feelings. It helps me to let them go and if I do them in writing instead of talking about it then that is just my way. If you don't agree that's fine, I respect your opinion too but either way I would love to hear from you.

Your Birth Month is July

Introspective and intense, you tend to be a deep thinker. You are quiet and spiritual - and you have a unique perspective on life. Your soul reflects: Lightness, luck and an open heart Your gemstone: Ruby Your flower: Larkspur Your colors: Green and red

What Does Your Birth Month Mean?

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to

Today is the one year anniversary of our Log in Date (LID). Who would have thought that we would still be waiting for a referral? It is very depressing. That and the fact that I turn 35 tommorrow and having the dozen children that I've always dreamed of is becoming pretty much a pipe dream. I am feeling pretty BLAH and HEAVY today. My diet is going into reverse and I am gaining weight instead of losing it even though I've been eating no sweets (ie NO CHOCOLATE) drinking LOTS of water (I'm about to float!) AND believe it or not I've been excersizing (yeah it's about as hard to do it as it is to spell it) I feel like gravity is just sucking my energy back into the earth. It has been beautifully sunny and warm (I bask in it every chance I get) but that doesn't seem to improve my mood...or help me tan any. Darn pink red-head skin I was so blessed to wear.

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to

Today is the anniversary of our Log In Date. Who would have thought that a year later we would still be waiting for a referral? This is very depressing. That and the fact I turn 35 tommorrow. My dream was to have a lot of children by now. My life plan did not work out the way I had hoped it would. So I know it is "our month" and I am trying to be excited - really I am. But not much excites me right now. This diet I started has taken on a serious reversal - I am gaining weight instead of losing it and I have been eating healthier, drinking lots of water and excersizing but I am just tired and achy and HEAVY! BLAH Like gravity is sucking me down into the earth. Summer has finally come to the Eifel and I have been enjoying basking in the sun as much as possible but even that doesn't seem to help boost my energy level...and I can't tan! Darn this red headed pale skin!

Happy Sun-day to you!!!

It's another beautiful day in the Eifel - looks like summer may stay around for a while. We are truly enjoying the warmer temps and full days of sunshine. Scott and I took a bike ride around the "neighborhood" yesterday. Our neighborhood consists of many hills so most of our ride was either going downhill at breakneck speed (me) while Scott rode his brakes (shicken) or going uphill me walking my bike(since I can't figure out the gearshift on my mountain bike), Scott (man'o'iron)going up no problem. The countryside is so beautiful and besides my itchy, scratchy eyes - the farmers were cutting hay...we had a great ride. Our muscles are screaming at us today though! No this getting in shape idea is not without pain but I must I must I must. I wanted to take my camera but my bike has no contraptions for holding anything so I had to juggle my water bottle the whole time - I'm thinking of getting a Holly Hobby basket...like my bike when I was 7 :) Think they might sell them on Ebay???

I couldn't agree more!!!

You Should Spend Your Summer at the Beach

You're a free spirit who is always thinking of new ways to have fun. And you don't just love summer... you live for it. So, you really should blow off your responsibilities and head to the beach!

Where Should You Spend Your Summer?

30 lbs in 30 days

I have never been one to do anytime small and well it just occured to me that I have become a bit "plump" and these months of stress eating (cookies and icecream) for dinner hasn't helped. Soooo I am pledging to give it my all to lose the excess weight and become a healthier me. This is OUR MONTH so that should motivate me on to this goal. I know it will be extremely difficult *I HATE to exercise! But here I go....I actually started a (pre-diet) on Monday to see if I could live without candy and cokes before I committed myself to a month long sugar fast.

Downgraded to coach? Oh no, make that second hand luggage!!!

Well it's finally happened - I should have known it would eventually, I mean a girl can't enjoy Princess status forever I suppose. It's now official that I've been downgraded to the status of second hand luggage.

I asked my Mom (hi Mom! If you are reading this stop right now or proceed with caution. I had to blog this because I really don't think anyone will ever believe me anyway) yes I asked my MOTHER, the person that gave me birth, if she would come and visit me in Germany. She could have come up with a million good excuses I'm sure but this was her reply "I heard that people that travel overseas often lose their luggage and this FREAKED me out - so I'll just see you when you get back here in a year!!!" Ok, it freaked me out that my 72 year old Mom used the terminology "freaked me out" in the first place but to have her freaked out about losing luggage...this is incredible! I mean she still has clothes in her closet from the 50s! Obviously they are a bit more valuable than her only daughter.

So...I guess I must not be as important to her as the outfits in her suitcase would have been. It's only been 2 years since we've seen each other and will be another year before we are able to get back to America. But what difference does that make when you have luggage to think about?

Yes, I am a bit annoyed and hurt that I can't even get my MOM to visit. No one seems to care that we are here all alone and no one will even consider visiting us. Anyone want to adopt me? It seems I'm available but not of much value :(

Julia Marie Stephens

She is so precious! I had to share these photos to show you what an incredible change occurs when these babies are placed in the arms of the ones that love them. Julia blossomed the moment she was placed in her Mommy's arms! What a beautiful gift!

Prayers for my friend

Please say a prayer for my friend Klaudia. She lives in Ireland and was expecting a referral call this month. Instead of a referral call she recieved a refusal from the CCAA for no reason other than she is a citizen of Austria and China does not have an agreement with them! After all this time of waiting patiently she has to watch the rest of her travel group go get their babies without her. I can't imagine anything more painful for a Mother to endure but I do believe when God closes one door he will open another. Please pray that she has peace during this difficult time and maintains her trust and faith in the Father's plan. She is a very kind and dear friend and has been such a blessing to me during this wait. My heart is breaking for her. This news has been devestating.

Saturday in the park

It was a gorgeous day on Saturday - warm and sunny! We had our friends the Slater family come over for a barbeque and then we walked to the park. We all had a great time, especially on the bicycle go round :) There were hot air balloons floating over us too which was really cool! Don't the Dads look cute on the swings? After the park we came home and made icecream sundaes! My favorite ice cream is mint chocolate chip...what's your favorite?

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Stephens Family on their way to China!!!

My friend Heather and her husband Ray are on their way to China to bring Julia home!!! YAY!!! Heather is my first "adoption sister" that I met at the beginning of this journey long long ago. She has been my motivation and my support when I needed someone to listen to my aching heart. I owe her dearly. I don't think I could have gotten through without having friends like her to care about me when nobody else understood what I needed. I am so blessed to have made her aquaintance on this journey. Thank You Heather! I can hardly wait to see Julia wrapped in her Mommy's arms :)

Fathers Day at Berg Eltz

The weather was just gorgeous - sunny and warm so we took a trip to Berg Eltz on Sunday afternoon. We had a wonderful time - the castle was so beautiful and there was a stream down the hill so Jared enjoyed wading and rock throwing. We all had such a great time and everyone made the hike back up the hill without needing a ride! Jared crashed out in the car on the way home and could not be waked up so he slept for 13 hours! Needless to say he was ready to eat when he woke so I had breakfast already prepared.
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Ode to summer

For maybe just a moment and the moment will be gone, but for one brief moment the sun has graciously blessed us with it's presence and the air has warmed to moderately high warm temps. It is Fabulous!!! I've been soaking up as much as my pale, freckled skin will endure for as many moments as I can before I worry that I will become a lobster hovering in the shade for the remainder of the sun's visit here. I try to moderate myself and not try to soak it all up in one sitting like I'd love to do. It would be nice to just fall asleep in the warmth of the sun, with the breeze softly blowing kisses across my cheek and the birds singing a sweet lullabye in the trees. If only for a moment, then the moments gone...ahh sweet sweet summer. Please don't get away from me again. I cherish every moment of your visit and mourn for you desperately when you are gone. Why must you go? Can't you see you bring happiness and laughter? Can't you see how many rush outdoors on those gorgeous sun filled days? I almost hit at least a dozen hikers and bikers on the roads today - they were everywhere! Filling up every crook and turn of these windy, hills in the Eifel. I can't blame them for taking the chance to make the road their pathway to solar solace. It's been a great day, a beautiful day and a day to get out and explore and unwind. We explored many roads today (ok I was a little lost) but found many treasures along the way. The Eifel region is breathtakingly beautiful when the sun shines. Steeply crooked roads give way to lush fertile valleys with villages tucked inside them like something in a painting. Time slows to a crawl here and you share a lane barely the width of your car with a tractor loaded with plow blades sticking out each side. Sleepy cattle laze and graze by the roadside, you occasionally see a herd of deer the size of large dogs...it's so tranquil here you would not think the world was anything but a beautiful place. Life is good here...during summer anyway :)

What kind of personality do you have???

Kim has a Type B+ Personality :)

You're a pro at going with the flow You love to kick back and take in everything life has to offer A total joy to be around, people crave your stability. While you're totally laid back, you can have bouts of hyperactivity. Get into a project you love, and you won't stop until it's done You're passionate - just selective about your passions

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

Photos

Out on the veranda - anyone care for coffee???


Jaiden and Ceanna's dolls. Jaiden's is green and Ceanna's is pink. The roses are growing in the front yard and the tomatoes I just bought on Monday, and need to plant.

The Glassmaker's shop

Saturday 10 June 06 we took a trip to Weiden, Germany and toured some of the many glass and crystal factories there. In one of the shops there was a man who makes the glass and you can sit and watch him work. Jared even got a chance to go up on stage and help him to turn the glass and blow it. That was too cool! There were so many beautiful things to see in this town. I hope the video works. PLEASE let me know if it does OK?
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So many boxes...but without any presents

Box cutter...check Pen...check rip rip rip paperwork paperwork check...Boxes and boxes are off loaded from the trucks...and boxes and boxes are opened and their contents identified...this process is now my days as I am doing my stint of AF Reserve duty in the Recieving section of Supply. It is rather exciting at first but gets rather monotonous after a while. After a while the fun of opening a box to see what's inside just loses some of it's luster...

ooooh....! but I got a box in the mail yesterday that will not lose it's luster for a long long time!....I ordered a baby doll for Ceanna (finally found "the one") and it is adorable!!!! Her sweet little face is all lit up in a smile and her hair and body were so soft and warm...could be from baking in the car all afternoon, but her smell and warmth brought a comfort and happiness to me that I've not had in a long time.

Yes, I will get a photo on here but for now I am off to bed. Got a long day of box cutting ahead of me tommorrow :)

Trek across Germany and beyond

Congratualtions Class of 2006!

It is always fun to go but it is certainly good to be be home again. We are back from our trip to Grafenwoer to see Mike graduate from High School. A momentous leap for our firstborn. He will be heading off to Osh Kosh for college in a few weeks and it was so hard to say goodbye. No more fun summers spent exploring and taking family vacations, no more ingenious surprise dinners from our budding chef, long talks about the great big dreams he has, playing every kind of sport...Mike is such a versatile and talented kid (er young man) he has grown up way too fast. The years flew by way too quickly. It seems like he was a tiny slip of a boy with a high pitched squeaky voice just a moment ago...now he is a very handsome man with a deep sultry voice on his way to making the world a much better place with all he has to contribute.

I don't need to wish him luck because I know he will be great at whatever he puts his mind to doing. I don't have to pray that his life be without trial because I know that he will meet each challenge and build upon it. I don't have to wish him love because his heart is big and strong; it can weather the heartaches and bring joy to the mournful and someday it will burst with the joy of a lifetime fullfilled with good moments, with sad moments, and every moment unique. I wish him a lifetime of moments that will be cherished forever. May God Bless You Always Mike!

Why do I talk to myself...

I wonder why I do this blog thing. I don't know....oh ok maybe because I love to write. But I also LOVE to hear from my friends and family but there doesn't seem to be anyone out there who cares about writing in response to what I post. No comments or even a quick email...I'm totally alone in cyberspace. Hellooooo out there - is anyone listening????

This girls got skills!!!

A week ago I didn't know diddly about the inside of a computer but as of Friday I'm a nearly certifiable technician - I got a 97 on my test!!! Woo Hoo! I am taking a two week A+ Hardware and Software course and I am learning so much great and useful information. I can now take apart and put together a computer ;) I haven't tried it at home yet though. But I can identify on sight all the different kinds of RAM (memory) and various other components of the system board. The instructor did an awesome job of making dull boring material become working knowledge...I give him an A+ as well :) This week we are learning about software...extremely boring and way over my head but hopefully I will learn something useful this week.

June 8, 2006 - UDDATE - I Passed!!! Woo Hoo! I got 100 on my Software Applications test :) I was sweating bullets big time but I got through it and now have one more class under my belt. YAY! This class was really tough and lots of information was being thrown out in the 4 days of class...my brain hurts! I am so exhausted now.

I am really bummed that I am going to miss the HTML class next week...I could really use this info to assist me with this blog...

When you wish upon a star...

I was missing a Walmart fix really bad so I was at my next best shopping place Amazon and found a way to make my wish list public knowledge (My birthday is coming up hint hint) I'm just messing around - but if you would like to see what we like you are welcome to visit my list. http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/1WK2NLMOZJ3Q2 Copy and paste the link if there is no hyperlink...i can't seem to get this thing to work.

Congratulations MSgt Scott Klein

Today is the day!!!! It's official! Scott is now a Master Sergeant!!!! Woooo HOOO! This day has been a long time coming and we are so excited that it has finally arrived. The boys and I got the opportunity to "tack on" Scott's stripes today at the Stripes Ceremony in Club Eifel. Scott was the only Master Sergeant inducted into the Senior NCO tier for Spangdahlem this month and I am so very proud of him.

Is it realy the last day of May?

Because it sure as the world feels like mid DECEMBER about now. I cannot believe it is the last day of May. I remember May so fondly from my youth as being a happy month. A month of firsts; first flowers, first new outfits of summer, first trips to the POOL, first days of SUMMER Vacation, hours and hours spent outdoors...Shoot me, just shoot me now! It's almost JUNE and we are still in the very low 50s here in Germany. It got down into the 30s in the night - Uuuuuugh! Have I ever mentioned that I absolutely cannot stand to be cold??? I think maybe once or twice - I guess if I LOVED the cold it would be sweltering hot right now. Has anyone ever died from extremely long winters??? I don't know but I am dragging through life and can't seem to find the energy to make it anymore. And now my feeble body has decided that now is the time to give in to the nasty cold and flu season that I somehow managed to escape without so much as a sniffle. So I am off to bed to muddled dreams in my mink blankets while visions of sunbeams dance through my head. Enjoy summer and please drop me a line sometime to let me know what a sunbeam feels like - I have now completely forgotten. Now I can understand where dark poetry comes from - the poets must have lived in Germany.

Ugh! Not now...

I've been able to duck it all winter - the dreaded flu season but with the wacky weather we've been having my body just couldn't take it anymore. Sore throat, body aches - It's almost JUNE and I'm catching my first cold all winter. I'm so not a happy camper...I would rather be camping but of course that would be rather difficult in the wind and rain. I guess I will cuddle up to a nice hot cup of chicken soup instead...and read about the sunny adventures from blogland.

Let's play name that song...

Hi there blog world! I am looking for songs for our adoption video. I will add the ones I have so far and if you have anything you would like to add please add it on the comments section. Anything that applies to babies, adoption, our journey to China etc. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

Winger - I need you now
Foreigner - I've been waiting for a girl like you
Vanessa Williams & Luther Vandross - Somewhere out there
Savage Garden - I knew I loved you
Phil Collins - You'll be in my heart
Martina McBride - In my daughter's eyes
Martina McBride - I have been blessed
Lee Anne Womack - I hope you dance
Lee Greenwood - I owe you
The Beatles - Here comes the sun
Rodd Stewart - Forever Young
Creed - Arms wide open
Anne Murray - I want to sing you a love song
Keith Whitley - When you say nothing at all
Allison Krause - Baby of Mine
Alladin - Whole new world
Bryan Adams - Here I am
Steven Curtis Chapman - When Love takes you in
Elton John - You'll be blessed
Celine Dion - Because you loved me
David Bowie - China Girl
Whitesnake - Is this love


*Fernando Ortega - If you were mine (beautiful song)

Sometimes I am just blown away

Like this moment; I was about to post a story I wrote the other day and I opened my daily devotional book to get some "guideance" and this was where it opened.

"I have written your name on my hand. Isaiah 49:16"

Ok, this is so amazing because for the past few months the name "Sea-ah-na" has been rolling around in my head and I can't seem to figure it out. We have chosen the name Jaiden Riley Katheleen for our daughter from China; we are also hoping and praying for her twin sister and the name Chloe has been tossed around but hasn't really stuck yet. Well the name Ceana meaning God is gracious is written (amongst dozens others)in my journal from way back at the beginning of our journey to adopt when I was just writing names at random. Since the name just won't get out of my head I went online to try to do more research on it and this time I couldn't find it. I do not know where I found the original spelling or the meaning??? I did a random internet site and came up with some interesting abbreviations for things. I tried spelling it Cianna...same thing. Then I tried Cyanna and this is what I found: http://www.childrenshopeint.org/newsletter/april02/journey.htm

I was touched beyond words when I read this story. It is so amazing how ever since I had the dream which twins were conceived in my heart, I have been given so many leads towards storys of twins. I still don't quite comprehend the plan God has in store for us. This is so far above our realm of insight. What does this mean? Why am I always being led to twins? We have applied for twins and are hoping and praying we get a referral for twins but is there something more? Will our story be something truly amazing such as this one??? I've wondered so many times over these months just what I would feel after all this time of loving my girls and praying for them and then being matched with only one. After reading this story I am more confident than ever that God's plan is going to bring us together no matter what. I never doubted that He could - but I don't know why He would do such an amazing thing such as this for us. It's hard to grasp the realization that He loves us that deeply and would literally move heaven and earth to bring our children home to where they belong. Wow, my babies have a name! And it's written on the palm of God's hands. How awesome is that!

Let them eat cake

Two weeks of non stop rain couln't stop us from planning the party of the millenium - Scott's Promotion to Master Sergeant!!! The days leading up promised to be wet and dreary but Saturday morning, there was no rain! Thank You Lord!!! We hurried to get the tent set up - the sun almost made an appearance, we went for ice...and the cake...still clear. We got everything set up and in place, cars strategically arranged so that there would be maximum parking available...guest arrived...guest had fun...guest ate and made merry...it started getting dark...then the rain moved in. But it wasn't a torential downpour - just a drizzle. No one needed umbrellas :) It was a great party and we are so proud of Scott for making it! We had lots of peeps come by and a great time was had by all.

The cake deserves a special commentary of its own. I had it done by a very nice and much talented military spouse, she helped me find the perfect design (she has hundreds of cake pans) It was a castle cake with 6 towers,strawberry on one side, lemon on the other and chocolate as the main body. The moat door was made to look like Master Sergeant stripes and there were A-10s and F-16s flying all around. It was the biggest cake we'd ever seen - took two people to carry it in. But it's the first cake I've ever had made just for Scott - his birthday falls just two days after Cody's we are usually all caked out by the time his day comes so I wanted to make it up to him for all the years he didn't have cake.

Golly Geeesers!

This is the sound of me trying to OPEN a toy or a DVD. Why do they have to be HARD WIRED into their packaging? It is so hard to open a simple toy anymore. Forget putting the toy together; if you haven't broken it by the time you cut away the plastic binding and unwrap all the coils of wire and then unscrew the BOLTS holding it in place - you are about ready to send it flying across the room or smash it to bits. In addition to not forgeting the batteries - today's toys also require pliers, screwdrivers and scissors to remove them from their packaging. It's enough to make me want to give up buying new and start shopping the local thrift shop for gifts. Gently used probably means the toy lost its interest long before the packaging was ever removed so it hasn't even been touched - only someone has endured the painstaking process of opening it for me...and I really LIKE that idea. More time to play and less hassle. Amazon.com is my favorite store for like new items :) I have gotten many used DVDs that are perfectly fine - just don't have that stinking sticky tape around every blooming edge! How come they put that stuff on there anyway? It's in a plastic wrapper! How can anyone open the case??? That's called theft if they get past the wrapper isn't it? So frustrating. And they wonder why we don't want to pay 19.99 for a DVD. For that price they should open it for us.

What pet is for you?

***Kim's Ideal Pet is a Cat***


You're both aloof, introverted, and moody.
And your friends secretly wish that you were declawed!


What's Your Ideal Pet?

Unexpected Blessings

Today is a German Holiday...we were not aware of this until we got to Jared's school and the doors were locked...uh oh! What now? I have pile of work to catch up on today in order to take tommorrow (Family Day) off and prepare for the big weekend. I will be in a computer class for the next two weeks and doing Reserve time for two weeks after that...I really needed to go to work today. We get to work (Jared and I) and I keep him entertained with stamping and writing his name for a total of about 5 minutes...and he's begging me to go get his lunchbox from the car cause he's starving...then in walks WASP (one of our pilots) and says he is about to give a tour of the jet to a buch of 5 year olds from the CDC - why don't we join him? That is too cool! Jared has never seen the F-16 up close and personal before. So off we go for an awesome tour of the jet and a nice visit with Jared's old classmates - and they all still remembered him! They were wondering where he's been...? So I talk to the teacher and she tells me there is a drop in slot available if he'd like to come play with them... but I took him in and they no longer had his file on record - in order for him to stay he would have to have his shot record RATS! So I go get him out of the class where he's already made himself comfy in the circle time with his friends. I go back to work and ask for today off instead of tommorrow and my boss says "he's welcome to stay here" and I say "oh no, I won't get much work done - I'll just come back tommorrow instead" so here we are home sweet home after an adventurous morning. It's going to be a rainy, rainy week and weekend - and yes, it's still cold but there are blessings everywhere and I am very thankful for each and every one.

One more month down...one tiny step closer

Well, the CCAA posted their stats yesterday. It was not as good as hoped so it doesn't look like we will be next after all. They did match 9 days which is an improvement over the 7 last month and the 5 the month before that...we are still 20 days away from getting our chance. That may not seem far off to many but at the rate this has been going it seems like an eternity. Maybe end of July but I am so tired of hoping. Every month we hope for this month to have gotten us much closer so we could be NEXT but each month comes and goes and we are slowly creeping up on our date. The CCAA has already said it may take over a year now. Had we known that from the beginning I think it would have been easier. Expecting 6 months, hoping for that and then having our hopes crushed then and every month thereafter is really really tough.

Yesterday was the toughest day I've had thus far. Thanks to the blessing of wonderful friends I was surrounded by comforting words and prayer. It still hurts and I can't help but cry over this but I know we will get through somehow. Our turn will come someday, we just don't know when someday may be. Someday I may be able to agree that this has all been worth it for the blessing we are to receive but today just hurts. There is nothing to take away this pain. All you can do is survive it and grow stonger. Sometimes you just want to give in and give up but your heart won't let you let go. There is a little girl out there somewhere waiting for her Mommy to come get her and bring her home to her family. And her Mommy aches to bring her home.

Half a World Away

This is a beautiful poem that a good friend shared with me recently

Half a World Away

A half a world away
Sometimes it seems we're so far apart
But a half a world away
It's not too far of a a journey for my heart

My little one, my bundle of joy
I'm waiting for you
My precious daughter, my baby girl
I know you're waiting too

A half a world away
A child waits for a family of her own
While a half world away
A family waits to bring her home

My little one, my bundle of joy
I'm whispering a prayer
My precious daughter, my baby girl
I hope to soon be there

I hope that we
will no longer be
a hald a world away.

New sofas

We received our new sofa set today!!! It is cherry pop (not sure the exact shade of red) but it looks similar to cherry kool aid...guess that is good for when the kids spill some on it. It is ultra suede (so soft) and they are pretty comfy...not Natuzzi heavenly soft but hey, the set was half the price of one Natuzzi chair. We've been waiting 2.5 months for them to be manufactured so I'm hoping they will grow on me. The reason I am not blown away with them is because we found a sofa set (just yesterday) that is ultra soft micro suede and it hugs you when you sit down...instead of being bounced off like a penny. That's how I test for the perfect sofa - do the plop test - if your teeth rattle the sofa is just too hard, if you sink in and can't get back up - that is the perfect sofa! This one is sorta in the middle I think.

We also received our new coffee table which I found and fell in love with yesterday. I guess when you just know - it's love at first sight. The driver delivered it right before the sofas arrived. I LOVE it! It is a gorgeous piece of furniture.

Any ideas on how to decorate this room? I would like to get a Tree of Life tapestry for the focal point...not sure about the rest.

You Are Apple Red
You're never one to take life too seriously, and because of it, you're a ton of fun.
And although you have a great sense of humor, you are never superficial.
Deep and caring, you do like to get to the core of people - to understand them well.
However, any probing you do is light hearted and fun, sometimes causing people to misjudge you.

What Color Red Are You?

Good Wishes Quilt

The Good Wishes Quilt is coming along nicely. I will post photos of the wishes and pieces here so you can follow along. Thank You so much to everyone that has contributed! Your kindness and love will be cherished forever.
Patchwork Quilt
Our family's like a patchwork quilt,
With kindness gently sewn.
Each piece is an original,
With beauty of its own.
With threads of warmth and happiness,
It's tightly stitched together.
To last in love throughout the years,
Our family is forever.
-Unknown

50 Questions

Favorite Vacation destination? I think it will be New Zealand :)

Favorite Movie? Your's Mine and Ours

Favorite Children's Book author or Grown Book author?
Children - Little Golden Books
Adult - Nora Roberts

Favorite Food Type: Chocolate

Favorite Pro and/or College Team? Texas Longhorns because of the cool logo and "HOOK'EM HORNS"

Favorite Band/Music Group: Point of Grace

Must Have's for your house to be ready for your new baby? A baby of course :)

Favorite TV show? Design on a Dime

Coffee or Tea? Coffee

Cleaning Tip? Hmmm - avoid it if you can :)

Pet Peeve? people who visit but don't comment...

What would you grab in case of a fire: photo albums

Most Influential Person In your life: my Mom

Talent I would like to have? Piano

Favorite Childhood Memory: sliding down sand dunes

Favorite Hobby: writing

Favorite Time of the Year: Summer

First thing you bought for new baby: a journal

19. If you were recuperating in a hospital who would you want in the bed next to you, excluding relatives? Lucille Ball

20. Favorite quote? "If you can't feed 100 feed one" Mother Theresa

21. Your best idea to commit a random act of kindness? Smile and wave at someone

22. If you had to sing a karaoke song, what would it be? Kamakamakama kamakamelion

23. Favorite candy?Chocolate

24. Name 5 experiences or places that you want to have/visit in yourlifetime.
-Going to my daughter's finding location and leaving a red rose for her Mom
-Meeting the sisters that I've met during the adoption journey
-Returning to China with my daughter and experiencing China through her eyes
-Living long enough to make a difference
- Living long enough to meet my grandchildren

25. What one thing (for you) are you bringing with you to China that you just can't live without?
My boys

26. What picture/photograph can you not wait to takeof your new child while in China, excluding the first'Gotcha" picture? Her sleeping on her Daddy's chest

27. What are the top three items you want to buy foryour new child while in China?
bracelet, earrings, a necklace

28. Will the adoption trip be your first trip toAsia? No If not, where are you been in Asia? Korea

29. How is your kitchen decorated? Country casual - sunflowers and herbs in the window

30. If married, how did you meet your mate? at work

31. The first place you would like to take your daughter to visit when you get off the plane? to her Gramma's house

32. Who makes you laugh? Jared

33. What is the scariest thing you have ever done? take my kids to the ER

34. If there was a movie of your life, who would have play you? Michelle Pfifer

35. Do you plan to do some sightseeing when you go to China? Parks, orphanage and finding spot, schools

36. What is your earlist childhood memory? getting panties in my stocking (3)

37. What is your favorite restaurant? What do order when you go there? Olive Garden. Chicken Fettucini, Salad and New York Cheesecake

38. What is your favorite dinner to cook? Frozen Pizza

39. Do you entertain a lot? No

40. When is the last time you had a professional manicure? Several years ago

41. What teacher was the greatest influence in your life? James Hayes 7th grade

42. What grade was your favorite and why? None - I didn't like school, the kids were very mean and I didn't have many friends

43. Who is your oldest most dear friend? Lulu Phillips (Thompson)

44. If you could speak to your child's (the on you are waiting for) mother and ask her three questions, what would they be? Where was she born, when was she born and what would you like her to remember about you?


45. What do you usually have to drink with dinner everynight? Water or milk

46. Are you planning to send a care package after referral? Yes

47. Name five things you will put in the package.
- A blankie, a camera, pictures, a toy and clothes.

48. How many groups are you part of? 2 (active)

49. What was your first car? 1989 Chevy Cavalier

50. Who are you traveling to China with? Group 117b and my family

51. What is your favorite card game? Go fish

52. How do you celebrate birthdays in your family? Cake, icecream, a special dinner, parties for the kids and presents

53. What is your favorite holiday?Thanksgiving

54. What was the happiest moment of your life? Becoming a Mom

55. What color is your living room? beige

56. When you have a sad day, what chears you up? Prayer

57. What was your most embarrassing moment? Peeing in my seat in pre-school when I was 4

58. Name something you want to do in this lifetime (not something most likely going to happen in the near future) Become a grammie and bake my grandkids cookies

This is beautiful...

I share this. My Mom just shared it with me and it is a tear jerker. Please follow this link:http://parentswish.com

Faith like Abraham...

This adoption thing is so much harder than physical labor could ever be. On a pain scale of 1 to 10 I would rate adoption 10+. And there are not any drugs to take the edge off, no breathing exercises that will help that pain to pass, if you scream at anyone you get the "your being a pain again look", and sometimes just being around other people that are living and breathing a normal life - and spitting out babies like a Pez dispenser - is more pain than anyone should have to bear. Sometimes it's just not fair. It's hard to understand why ADOPTION should be difficult - there are thousands of orphans that need a family to love them - aren't there???

We are nearing our 11th month of being LIDed. We've been on this fabulous adventure since Nov 04 - what's that? Hmmm...let me count.... 18 months? Wow, long enough for several groups of my friends and family to conceive and give birth TWICE!

No this was not meant for me to understand. I was not meant to be normal. This is meant to be something beyond my biggest dreams and my wildest imaginations. Sometimes I "lose it" and my patience goes all out the window. I meltdown and want to be done with this. I feel all alone on a different planet far from home and in a world where I just don't fit.

When I crash and hit the bottom I find my center again. Then I remember why we started this in the first place. There within my heart still burns a passion to bring a child home that has no home and give them the love they have never known, to give them a family and a place to belong where they will always know love. That amazing love always finds me, no matter how I fight it off - it's always there. I cannot escape the greatest love of all.

This week I was remembering Abraham - he waited a lifetime for his child Isaac and then placed him upon an alter without hesitation. He had a NO DOUBT kinda faith. He did not question. He believed. He knew that God would always provide the answer. I want to be like that. So sure and strong in my faith. Never doubting for a moment the miracle that is in store for us that is far beyond anything we could ever comprehend. That's something worth waiting for.

Fruit of the earth

My first fruits of the garden have blossomed into...dinner! I picked some yummy baby spinich to go with dinner tonight. So good and fresh! Nummy! Nothing beats fresh out of the earth. The strawberries are starting to turn white so they will be getting ripe in a short while too. I LOVE my first garden so far. I think this could turn into a worthwhile hobby :)

Where is my baby?

Many months have come and gone - longing to see you - coming undone - the paper chase was easy, so smooth and so sure. But the wait has been torture, almost more than we can endure. Each day takes us farther - first it was only 6 months, then 10 months, now 12. We wonder does anyone know when for sure? When will we travel? Surely real soon - Mar, Apr and May are prepared to travel and bring home their bai bai.

How long have you waited? I'm yearning to know. Are you still just an infant? Will we watch you grow? Or are you a toddler just starting to walk? Do you reach for someone to cuddle you, if given the chance? Or are you quite older and have seen many friends, be placed in arms of strangers from far distant lands?

We are coming soon darling, please don't you cry - Your Mommy will cuddle you and sing lullabyes. We'll wrap you in blankets, so soft and so warm. And love you to pieces, with all of our hearts.

Love and hugs,
Mommy
(written by Kim Klein 5/15/05)